


Opia

by yadame



Category: GOT7
Genre: Angst, Bae Jinyoung Is Whipped, Dancer Yugyeom, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Forehead Kisses, Gun Violence, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Love Confessions, M/M, Mark is a Doctor, Memory Loss, Recovered Memories, Shooting Guns, True Love, ans some angst, bae mark is whipped too, daaaaaaamn, jinyoung is hot with a gun as well as mark, markjin is so soft, mention of other idol groups, photographer bambam, unknown jinyoung, what the hell with the tags girl
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-23
Updated: 2018-12-09
Packaged: 2019-07-01 15:41:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 35,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15777069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yadame/pseuds/yadame
Summary: "Do you know what opia means, darling."It's the ambiguous intensity of an eye contact ...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Mark ✯    …   Jinyoung ☄
> 
>  
> 
> Song: Got7ㅡMayday

Mark ✯ 

 

 

“Just, just stay the night.”  
A bleading look was meeting Mark’s eyes, whom felt pitty for the person infront, because he knows that what comes next; is nothing good. 

“You know I can’t Hyuk. But, If you wanted anything, just call me, okay?”

Mark honesty was shown in his tone to his ex. He really wanted to cut it out with the latter, but having his ex’s father on one bed at the hospital he works, is something; he really didn't wish for. Also, the loud crying with a hand grabbing his coat, shouting in agony to bring the same father to life, wasn't playing for his side. His heart ached for the mourned boy, so his heart is the idiot that's responsible for his situation right now. So, he just wants to reach home and have some sleep ‘cause his early shift for work is going to fuck him up and he doesn't want that, at all. 

“b-but, I, I need you.” with the last two words, hyuk’s voice shakes, with need, with desperate. 

Mark mind was fighting him to shout at the younger, ‘how the hell! and what the hell!’, but that’s really not the great time to voice out these question, nor the right place. 

Taking a breath in, Mark tries to calm the chaos he’s been having from early morning this day, “good bye, hyuk.” and with that farewell, he just left even with a call of his name from a man, a man that onceㅡah yes, onceㅡwas his love. A call he would never ignore, but he just did. 

 

 

   °°°

 

 

“You are an idiot, and it kills me that you know that.”

Mark sighed at the loud voice which wasn't just ringing in his ear, but also he swears that it rings in his whole body even his soul. He’s tired, so tired to even reply his friend. But, the loud friend was right. Youngjae was right and he will not bear what comes next, when the remaining friend of his, know. Youngjae will not shut up about it. But, fuck him ‘cause he’s never wrong. 

“For god sake, shut up, Youngjae.”, holding the top of his nose with his two fingers, Mark’s hoping that the headache that was buzzing from the lake of sleep, stops."

 

It was his fault. A sleep for one hour, isn't a decent sleep. It’s a slow kill for the body, so right now Mark doesn't know how he is going to drag his body to examine his patients. He need to focus, people lives isn't a game. Yeah, definitely not. 

 

“Shutting a mouth at the moment is what I’m going to do. But…” 

“No but-s, dude. Just coffee.” yes coffee is needed to bring him alive again, Mark thinks. 

“coffee!”, Youngjae quirks his eyebrow. 

 

Mark smiled at his friends. He was trying to make Youngjae changes the subject ‘cause he really doesn't want to hear any whineㅡno more. So he walks faster towards the hospital’s cafeteria, ignoring the younger’s voice. I’ll hear it all later, not now. He nodded to himself. 

 

 

Later, didn't take too much time. It was his lunch break, when he was being gazed by four pairs of eyes next to a very amused black haired Youngjae. Whom eating his lunch as if nothing is happening. God, annoying. Mark knows he has nowhere to go and he is not in the mood for anything. All of he wants is just some quietness and peace. 

“I know what you all wants to say but…”, holding his hand to shut any one who is going to interrupt him. 

“what are you expecting me to do in such a situation? Huh, leaving him alone. That wasn’t an option guys but still I treated him in no special way. I refused his offer to stay. I just helped him with the funeral.”

 

Mark hopes that his frieds could understand him. He knows he did nothing wrong and they also do but they keep doing this because they worry about him, they love him and he does loves them too. So he smiles when all the four seems to relax and start eating.

 

 Soft eyes meet his, “we know that but we don’t want you to get hurt again.” 

Jaebum was right. Hyuk hurted him in a real ugly way he doesn't like. Talking to another man under the pretext of ‘you don't have time for me anymore’, wasn’t really a good excuse for Mark. Mark was starting to open up a little to people and trusting someone to completely be a part of his lifeㅡalong with his precious friends of courseㅡ  so, yeah, hurt was what he received in return. Something not so pleasant. 

 

“Cut the crap, guys. I need to tell you something.”, Jackson’s mouth was full of food. Mark scrunched his face in disgust,

 

 “eat first then fucking speak, hyung.” a sigh got out of their younger’s mouth before he puts his spoon down after finishing his plate. 

 

“Yugyeom, language.” Jaebum stared at the boy. 

 

“Whatever.”, the boy huffed. Mark couldn't contain his smile, the younger is so adorable. 

 

“Spell it out, boy.”, Youngjae is curious and to be honest Mark is too. 

 

“Bambam and I kissed.” 

 

Mark wasn't sure if he heard right. His eyes widened. Finally, he thinks. The two was playing and dancing around each other a lot. 

 

Even when  a four of them are doctors working their asses off and the youngest two still in their senior year of college, they still find time to meet and eat together. Once Jaebum suggested to let the two boys meet up with them here ‘cause most of the times they could be called for an urgent matter any time. Loving how they always stick together whenever they had the time. And even now Bambam and Jackson made it for the love game. That was a blessing for him, a one he prays for it to stay forever. 

 

 Mark was really smiling, genuinely happy for them, but the moment Bambam coughs ‘cause he just choked in his coke, upon hearing what Jackson said, Mark was was gone, laughing erupts in the place,these idiots. Even Youngjae ‘o’ expression made it harder to stop the laughter, with Yugyeom joining along. 

 

“Hyung~~,” Bambam whined but still coughing, looking at smiling Jackson. Who hands him a tissue to wipe all the drink from his chin and clothes.

“Bambam must have gone insane.” Jaebum smiles,shaking his head.

“hyung~” Jackson eyes Jaebum whose sticking his tongue out. 

“Yes. I’m insane.”, bambam states, hiding his flushed cheeks in his hands, laughing when Jackson gave him ‘betrayal’ look.

“Man up, Jacks. For him.” Mark pointed at Bambam, talking to Jackson. The boy face is tinted with pink, a sight you don't really see it on the latter a lot. 

“Okay, hyung.”, Jackson rarely calls Mark hyung. It's always with his name or the birth nameㅡhis Chinese one ‘Yieun’ㅡ, so the times he does it, Mark knows he is honest with these words at these rare times. He is thankful, they both are kind hearted and careful around each other. He just wish them the best. 

 

Mark’s thoughts were cut by the youngest voice, “they are going to be more gross than these two.” pointing at Youngjae and Jb, he sighed. Mark really adore this boy. 

“Shut up you brat.” Jb glared at Yugyeom, ready to fight. 

Mark decided to play along, “but he is right, Jaebum.”, winking at Yugyeom. Mark teased his friend. 

“Not you, Mark.”, Youngjae begged. Shy as he is, always. Mark laughs along with them all.  Even of he doesn't talk a lot but he joins the moment. The time when he is producing a noise, noise that he prefers. A noise he is part of. A noise with his favorite. 

 

That was his favourite time. 

 

 

°°°

 

 

Mark was a very simple man in his twenty eight year of age. He met Jaebum on the first day at work. Mark was in awe of how perfect a man can show how genuinely he thinks of something without hurting anyone. How he can lead a very hot conversation or an arguments with anyone without litterally breaking a bone. People tend to fight on how everyone wants to approve his point of view, not accepting the other opinion. Jaebum wasn’t. The man reads a lot of books, watch documentaries, search whatever eats his mind, not accepting to leave it hanging. That's how he learnt how to be put a very calm face. Mark was really in awe, even if he’s a quiet man, he learns much of the boyㅡthe fried who’s a year youngerㅡ and that makes him proud of his friend, of himself every passing day. 

 

He respects Jaebum's advice, the man always has a point even if Mark wasn’t okay with it, but he tries to see the bigger picture of someone acts and thinking whenver he’s alone. His train of thoughts will keep heading to different stations and he is happy with it and Jaebum was a reason along with many other reasons to keep it moving. 

 

“Life is not only about you, Mark. It’s about many other things, but finding who you really are is the most important.”

Jaebum once said. They were leaning at his car infront of whole Seoul. It’s a top of a hill shows the creativity of science on how lights illuminate a whole city in a very breathing way. A drink in their hands is what keeps them warm om this chilly night. Everything seemed so small but yet how big it was, was really terrifying. Jaebum’s words were like a peck of light, kissing a lost part of him. Even if Mark was a man of few words, but his mind was his own labyrinth. A labyrinth he knows how to exit from, as soon as he enters. His opinion was his own and when he tries to give one, he is always careful and when Jaebum always tells him that he is a one friend, he really respects. His smile is a thankful one. He hopes to never loses this respect. 

 

 

 

°°°

 

 

“So you’ll be taking yugyeomie, then.”  
Mark sighed, glaring at a smiling Jaebum who just states a fact he knew once Jackson and Bambam were a thing.

 

They were going for a 3-days vacation together but the couples had other plans. Jaebum wanted to have Youngjae to see his parents and having their time alone. And bambam’s family were coming from Thailand so Jackson will be there. It’s just him and Yugyeom who remains. He adores the boy but he hoped they were all together. It’s been a while since they did, having a time for themselves. But seeing how His friends are eager to spent their time each on his boy arms, makes him warm. He is happy for them.

 

“I knew that would happen, lover boy.” 

A blush shows on Jaebum’s cheeks and Mark laughs. He just loves to tease all of them. 

“You are a lost case. Youngjae got you on his finger.”

“Hyung, I love you but shut up. Just remember that I will lead the teasing the day you fall. Mark my words, Mark Tuan.”

Jaebum face was even redder than before but their laughs brings color to the night. 

 

 

°°°

 

 

Yugyeom is always a baby to him. Even if he’s like a four years younger than him but he can’t help to treat him like a grown up. He has a very soft spot for the boy. Yugyeom is his baby, the boy has a very well built body, the tallest of them but the laugh, the pout when words forming on his lips, his whiny voice make it hard for Mark not to adore how cute he is. The cutest Mark would always say when he pinches his cheeks. But beside all of this cuteness, lays a heart and a mind of mature boy.

Yugyeom was a passionate dancer, he is even a part has a crow. Dancing is his life and his parents are really helping him to be the greatest. He met Bambam who was studying photography and became best friends. The latter is a foreigner from Thailand and the younger helped him to adapt very well. A point Mark’s adore in the youngest also. He’s a great help, he supports and love innocently. The purity of what he gives makes Mark eager to help too. 

Yugyeom always asks for advice from them. He listens, he thinks the  he decides and tell. Mark is a proud dad, sue him. 

 

“a special cup of hot chocolate for a very special Yugyeom.” Mark once handed a red eye boy. Yugyeom came to himㅡhe always doesㅡ one night crying. The older heart breaked and just lead the boy to the couch hugging him untill he settle down. 

“from a very special hyung.”, the boy sniffed. Trying to calm himself. Mark smile was sad. He didn't know what happened. He wanted to tear apart every single unhappy emotion from the boy. He just sighed and sit next to him. Yugyeom put his head on Mark’s lap and Mark wanted to ask him what’s wrong but he didn't. He gave him time. He would give him all the time, his baby brother. 

“This world is fucked up, hyung.”, Yugyeom started and Mark listened to the boy, deciding not interrupt him till he finishes. 

“Today Bambam invited me to see his project. A documentary he photographed, produced. You know Bambam is a perfectionist. Indeed he is. Every thing was perfect hyung yet it wasn’t. The other students clapped for him but I couldn't stand and walked away.” , pause and a breath the younger was holding, was released. 

“The documentary was about war. Children were killed. Still. Children are being forced to leave where they were raised at. Forced to lose their parents in the worst brutal way. I.. I…” pause, a breath. “ there was that part in the documentary, a part of a child who is almost 9 years, being interviewed, the reporter asked him about his mom then the boy sobbed that he misses her ‘cause he lost her in war. Fuck, hyung, fuck.”

 

The last thread of self-control, Yugyeom was holding now gone. The boy was a weeping mess in his arms. Mark shed tears for grief. Grieving humanity, power is a double-edged weapon, he always thinks. He just wouldn't let all of these thoughts out sometimes. It could suffocate him, how people are living with such acts. How the hell nobody does nothing. How and how and how and all the how-s keep being unanswered.

Yugyeom is maturing in his way. When such things keep looming up, he feels helpless. Mark knew, Mark knows. 

 

Stroking his back in a gentle way, Mark did to Yugyeom. “You know, Yugyeomie..”, when the boy humed, he continued.

“Sometime I wonder why a thing like this is happening. A choice of a powerful person can build a new city of nowhere and another can end a nation. People tend to make choices, a choice that can change a life to the good or the bad. A choice can end a life or start another. This choice will always be unknown to us, even to themselves till the moment they talk it out.”, by these words Mark was revealing a part of him, he wasn’t a fan of this but Yugyeom need to hear someone. He tried to choose his words properly for the younger and hoped it helps.

“Once this choice is made both you and I have no power to put it down. Sometimes, we just watch, weep, think and curse and don’t move a leg. We chose to. I don't know why. Maybe we're afraid, maybe not. Maybe we don’t care, maybe we do. It will remain ambiguous. But there is a time when we shut it all and keep ourselves safe from the outside world but we keep returning. Life, it is called. And even if we feel like we’re trapped and have nothing to offer or to give, we still have to live, Yugyeom.” , the overwhelming feelings suffocate Mark. A tear roll down his cheek but he catch it with the back of his hand. 

“Being a doctor is a choice I made to give myself a chance to live. Whenever I help a patient, there is a relief. But you know the most beautiful time is when?”, he looked at the boy. Smiling as he looks back at him. Thanking God that the boy isn't crying any more, “when?” the boy asked. 

“One time, they sent us to some place I didn't know. The village we went to was a very simple one, without any complexity of the way we live nowadays. We helped there. Full check up for the people living there. The smile on their faces showing how they are content with their way of living was a strike of knowledge for me. From that day, I kept returning and you know when I travel abroad on my annual vacation, I volunteer everytime with a different destination. I gain power, knowing that I'm a powerful human in my own way and my choice always changes someone life. But my choice changes it for the better, or at least I hope it does.” pause, “life is a punch of choices. You choose. You decide. Even to sit motionless or start with a simple move. I hope one day I do end the violence, people choose to spread. You do your move too. You’re a man of moves, dancer boy.”, smiling, hoping that gives Yugyeom the answer he wants. He tried and will always try. For him, for his friend for a better days. 

 

Seeing Yugyeom smiling, is a relief. His black hair falling on his eyes and his features are softened. Mark patted his head. “I hope my words helped.”, Yugyeom nodded. Mark didn't want any word back from the younger, he just wanted him to think for himself.

“okay then. Go shower, you’re sleeping here tonight.”

“Hyung, thank you.”, warm feeling in Mark’s gut is spreading at the younger words. He is maturing, faster than I thought. He shakes his head at the boy. “No need to.”

 

The world is no all white, but he hopes he can brings some color to. 

 

 

°°°

 

 

“Since it’s just me and you, Yugyeom. Choose where to go.”

Mark was having coffee while yugyeom ordered a choco-milkshake. As always, a heart of a baby. They decided to meet up and decide where to head since the other betrayed them. 

“Let’s head to Gyeongju. It’s a beautiful place. I want to really go to. We will learn much history of the city. Also let’s have a leisure time for ourselves. Traditional cuisine, our stomach will thank us. What do you think, hyung. I think you’ll be happy. I hope”, yugyeom eyes were dancing from excitement and Mark couldn't refuse. He trusts the boy so he nodded in approval. Yugyeom clapped his hands like a seal. Gaining a loud laughter from Mark. 

“ I wanted to take train but let's go by car, hyung. Let’s do this, okay?”, Yugyeom’s wiggling his brows. This boy. 

“Okay, brat.”

 

 

°°°

 

 

 

Gyeongju is a beautiful town indeed. Only a 3 hour by car. Mark booked them a hotel and let the tour thing and the places they will visit, be planned by the younger. The road from seoul was very breathtaking. Since it's spring, cherry blossoms were lining the roads from left and right ways. Mark heart was at ease and once he informed Yugyeom that he loves this, the younger smiled and promised to take a lot of videos and pictures and tease the other and Mark loved the idea. 

 

They arrived early. Small nap then a warm shower and started their day. Yugyeom didn't miss taking out his camera. The boy planned it well. They went to the national museum. The city was a historical capital once so Mark tried to absorb every piece of information was said to him and absorb the beauty of all of the landmarks, all of the milestones, whatever ‘cause everything was beautiful. Yugyeom took them to rent bicycles, they ride along another cherry blossom road, the Gyerim road. Took a ride around the forest, it was like a healing time for Mark. The guys missed this beauty, he thinks. 

 

“That's enough for today, hyung. I’m tired.”, Yugyeom ushered Mark who was half captivated by the beauty and half thinking of people should do good and let the other live in peace. He sighed , smiling, nodding, indeed they are tired. They had dinner, showered and slept at almost  
11 PM. 

 

It was almost 4 AM when Yugyeom shaked him woking him up. 

“What’s wrong?”, he asked. 

“Come on.”, the younger gave a warm smile, sleeping still playing with his face. 

 

He was confused, what’s so early. He puts a joggers and a hoodie. They walked like 10 minutes after to a wooden road across a lake. Yugyeom sat down and patted the place next to him. Mark took the sign to sit down. Their legs were dangling from the vertical holes of the wooden rail, seperates them from the water. The trees' leaves behind them are dancing with the air, sometimes air plays with them also, throwing some leaves at them, smiling Mark is. This trip is great. 

 

“Sunrise.”, Yugyeom smiled and Mark knew. Looking at the sky. Faint yellow is spreading on the whiteness of the sky. Another orange joins in. A round yellow ball of blaze, illuminate the place. Spreading lights every way. Brilliant. Beautiful. Breathtaking. This brat can give him the warmness he loses in a busy day at hospital. Sometimes, he spends two days without sleep, without seeking such a comfort. This trip again brings part of him back. 

 

Another day was a new experience. Another discovery of this town and Mark in awe. They spent the late night on their room balcony, chatting and Yugyeom shows him his new moves the were inspired by the past two days. The boy was a dance genius. Beauty inspires artists. Yes, definitely. 

 

Day three was a time for themselves, they sat lazily at the hotel. He shows the younger the beautiful photos he captured with his phone and the younger shows him the esthetic shots of them that he took, he really did a great job in editing too. Bambam was sending a lot of cry emoji on the group chat. They laughed at him, at how all of them were amazed by the photos, their youngest kept teasing them with. The evil grin was a reminder for Mark to not ever take any side but this boy’s side. He laughed. 

 

 

°°°

 

 

The road to seoul was peaceful. It’s almost 9 PM. when Mark started the engine. Yugyeom decided to take a nap at the back seat. A soft music plays from yugyeom phone which connects with the car’s bluetooth. He’s been driving for almost two hours, when he noticed a figure in the dark on the side of rood. His heart flips in his place, heartbeats fasten. He stopped the car, immediately. Yugyeom’s cursing for the heart attack he just had.

“What, what?”, the younger jumped from his place. 

“I saw someone, sit here.”, without giving any other words, he takes his seatbelt off and getting out of the car, ignoring the other boy’s crying for him to stop. 

 

Heart racing, his eyes adjust the darkness when he see it again, a figure on the side. Looking left and right, maybe lost. He takes some steps closer and when he was in front of the figure, he stops, freezes in place. The figure was  a boy, hugging himself as he shakes, his eyes wide as he is searching for something, terrified was he. Barefoot. What the fuck. Some scratches bleed there. A some kind of a long white thin cloth was covering him reaches his leg. It’s so thin, that's why he’s shaking. His thinking was a mess what happened to this boy, but they were long forgotten when he met his eyes. The boy finally senses his existence. The boy jolts and Mark’s heart does the same. The boy face was being hugged with scratches too. The clothes are dirty. He must have been running. That's the only answer, he could comprehend right now. The boy features are beautiful but the blood hiding them in a very bad way, makes Mark want to bring fire to whoever did this. He doesn't know why, he will just do. The boy’s eyes were screaming for him to not hurt him and that's makes him to go crazy.

“I won’t hurt you.”, Mark raised his hands in surrender form, hoping the boy could feel his honesty. When the boy nods a little he feels good. Cutting by Yugyeom’s voice, “hyung,”.. 

“Shush Yugyeom. Give me the blanket I packed in my bag."

Never breaking an eye from the boy who feels more scared by the new presence. 

“b-but,” the boy tries to say, just to be cut by Mark’s loud serious tone, “now.”

 

He smiled at the boy, “don't worry, he’s just a friend. A good one. Okay?”, seeking for approval from the boy, Mark holds the boy eyes as if he is going to break any time. The boy nods but the tears he was holding was streaming like a heavy current across his face. Mark panicked. He put one of his hands in front of the boy, hoping he takes it. The boy did, clutching on it with his two hands like Mark is going to leave him and disappear. Mark heart shuttered. 

 

Yugyeom came with a blanket, which Mark took it with his free hand. The other one, the boy never let go of it once he held it.

 

“I’m going to put this on you and we need to head to the car. Okay?”, Mark takes a step closer once the boy nods. Mark throw the blanket on the boy’s shoulders and usher him to the car but with the first step the boy takes, he whines, swaying, hurt shows in his eyes. Tears running down. It must be his foot. Shit. Mark stops. 

“You are in pain, it's your feet, right?”, Mark asked the boy and the latter nods. He need to get him to the car, he thinks fast. “ I need you to let go of my hand.” The boy panicked shaking his head violently as if he is going to die if he lets go. Mark is no man of violence but he will kill whomever made this boy like that.

 “Don’t worry, I’ll be right here. I swear.” Mark tries to assure the boy. When he finally let go but draw closer to Mark. A feeling of protecting this boy was controlling the older. 

“I am going to lift you.”, Mark smiled and for once the boy’s eyes were confused. Not afraid, at least. Marks thanked heavens. 

Stepping closer, eyes on the boy. He tightened the blanket around the boy, put a hand under the boy’s legs and one is supporting the boy’s back. He put his power to lift the boy. Once he did, the boy wrapped his hands around Mark’s neck. A warm feeling envelopes Mark. Heart is racing. He feels oddly warm. Not now, Mark. Not now.  The boy hands were shaking a little. Mark cursed. He hugged the boy closer to make him warmer and smiled when tightened the hold. He walks to the car. 

 

“Open the door for me, Yugs and you drive”. 

For the first time, he looks at Yugyeom, the boy is scared, he is too, but he needs to stay calm for the sake of the three of them. 

“Yugs, it’s alright.”, assuring the younger. 

 

Opening the door for him, Mark got in. It was hard since the boy was in his arms but the boy was at ease for once and Mark didn’t want to stir him out, from this feeling. Once he settle in, Yugyeom closes the door, heading to the driver seat. 

 

The boy was still in his arms. Head resting on his shoulder. He shakes no more, eyes are opened, focused on the window, maybe watching the road. The cherry trees are beautiful just like the boy in his arms.. 

Hands are clutching on Mark’s shirt on his chest, like some kind of support. He doesn't know when the car starts moving. The boy is so fragile in his arm. With the car lights Mark takes a good look on the boy’s face. Beautiful, very beautiful. Even if his hair is long, hiding some of his face. A fringe sways sometimes with the car's moves. 

“Give me that wet wipes pack, Yugs. I need to wipe the blood from his face. From what I see there is no major injuries.”, eyeing him on the mirror, yugyeom give him a worried look. 

“Its okay, yugs.”

 

The boy jolts as soon as the wipes connected with one of the scratches on his face. Mark was surprised, only to be met by the boy’s hands holds him for dear again.

“I’m sorry.”, he says but he needs to clean this mess on the boy’s face. The boy closed his eyes, tilting his head to let Mark does his work. Mark hold him self to not kiss every part of his face. God, what's going on? 

 

He starts to wipe the boy face. Trying not to push on the cuts. Gently, he did. When he finished, he stops to take a look again to only get striked by an innocent eyes, meeting his. A smile he receive from unknown boy which he immediately respond to, with the warmest smile he can form. His hands worked on their own when a one pushed the boy’s long fringe from his eyes. The other hand that support the boy back, holds him tighter, hugging him to his chest. He doesn't know what he is doing, but he felt like again. He sighed when the boy relaxed even more in his arms. 

 

“Where do you want me to go to, hyung?”, says Yugyeom when the clear Seoul lights, are showing. 

 

“Home, yugyeom.”, giving the boy one last look.

 

“I’m taking him home.” 


	2. ..

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jinyoung ☄

“Run, Jinyoung.”   

Ice was runnig down his body. Jinyoung, yes, that's his name. Someone tall with a blonde hair, beautiful as the sun in this darkness surround them, was looking at him, shouting. Who? He can’t remeber. Why the hell, he can’t remember?

The darkness was looming, giving him no chance to see what’s around. He can't focus, even his vision is blurry, he keeps blinking his eyes but nothing. He feel dizzy but somehom he is steadying himself. 

The man was fighting with someone. Some guard, he lools scary. Shit, shit. Why can’t he move? Something in him tells him to run so he really wants to move, even the man was telling him to run.  Looking around, there is no one else in sight but the two.

 

The tears are running wild, that’s what  must have been blurring his vision, but why? The same man now cupping his cheek, looking at him. He didn’t know when or how the other manㅡthe guardㅡ, the blonde with fighting with, is now on the floor, motionless. Jinyoung felt his heart dropped. 

 

“Jinyoung, you need to listen to me.”, the man kept looking around, afraid if someone is coming. Jinyoung can’t focus on the surrounding anymore. His mind is not cooperating. The man lookes at him again,  

“I want you to run, don’t look back. I will find you and then you will know what is it all about. Run for your life, do it for yourself. Do it for me….. F-fuck….”, breathes, the man’s eyes were fire but warm whenever he looks at Jinyoung; who felt powerless, confused for this whole thing. 

“O.. Okay.”, he finds himself saying but voice is low as if his throat fights to sound the word out. His whole body is shaking from the cold air or maybe fear, he doesn't know. But he feels warm on his cheeks where the man touches. The man smiles. The kind of smile, you want to assure someone in a very bad situation. Jiyoung is thankful. 

“Okay, now go. Don’t trust anyone.”, the man kissed his forehead, “I will find you.”, he adds with a determinant look, Jinyoung felt his honesty. He feels like he knows him, cursing at this memory of him.

 

The man pushed him and he finally does knows how to move. Taking some steps, hissing when he felt a small rock under his foot. He didn’t know, he was barefooted until now. It makes him more and more confused. He doesn't know where he is. Who this man is. He didn’t even remember his name, until the man called him earlier. He feels unsafe. But he starts to move again, the man told him to and he trusts him. He runs and runs and runs and cries but he never looks back. When finally he realized that he didn't ask for the man’s name. 

 

The road was dark. Night it is. But he doesn't know where to go. Nothing to take it as a shelter. No buildings. Where the hell is he? He screams. He knows nothing, there is nothing around but darkness but he needs to run. He does and he falls. He runs, he falls and cries. That's all what he can do. Shit.

 

His feels dizzy from the very first moment but running makes it worse. He needs to stop. His lungs are screaming at him to stop, to take a rest and he does. He is just tired. He falls at the ground. He doesn’t know where he but he lift his eyes to study the surrounding ‘cause that’s what he can do at the moment, but he finds nothing, hours had passed but nothing. Panic is what he feels. Fear and panic are what he had felt from the start of this awful night. What should he do. He stands up and runs. 

 

The day has come as the sun playing above him, tainting his yellow to the surrounding and finally some buildings starts to creep out, appear at his sight. His mind screams of fear. What if someome is searching for him and hurts him? He shivers at the thought of this. He decided he needs to hide but he doesn't no any place to do and just walk till he find one but first, people, yes those he needs to avoid. The man tells him to trust nobody. He shouldn’t interact with anyone. But, but how and where to go. He knows nothing. He can’t even enjoying the warmth of the sun on his body as these thoughts keeps creeping him. 

Running in daylight makes him more and more tired. His throat hurts and feels dry. He feet hurt and he must be injured. He feels like his lips are being cut. He whines voiceless. Hopeless he feels when his mind runs for the man from the other night. Where are you?, please come and find me. He cries. 

He tried his best to avoid the places where people are crowded in. But the eyes kept looking at him in a very unpleasant way, makes him want to hide away, far. To bury himself. He is scared. His heart is beating fast and his mind is screaming at him to run and hide. He feels small and his power is fading out gradually. It’s sunny but why he feels not warm at all.   
His face burns when his sweat traces the scratches on his face. Shit. But he doesn't care about this, he need to continue walking but he knows no destination to reach. He wants to scream but … 

, there are many but-s, he hates that. 

 

Almost night again, when he opens his eyes. There are no many people, he thinks. His back is nested on a tree trunk. Where is this place? He studied the place with wide eyes. A big ㅡgarden, parkㅡ place with trees. Very beautiful blooming flowers, various catchy colors. Faded and bolded colors. He smiles for the first time, taking a big breath shutting his eyes. For a moment he forgets the reality he’s been struggling to avoid every passing second. But a striking fact that he’s lost, hits him.

Lost.

 Lost in a world he seriously does not know anyghing about, or maybe he does but for now he can’t he remember anything. Panic hit him again. Panic was a companion to him from the moment his eyes was open.

 

He was tired, yes, and decided to rest, but it seems like he has , fainted , dozed off to sleep a little, he thinks. He stands up, a little dizzy. He didn't eat or drink in ages, he feels like it. He supports himself, hugging himself, this air is so cold. He starts this unknown journey again. His feet hurts a lot. He wants to cry but he keeps it to himself. 

 

There is a line of trees with beautiful blooming roses ahead of him. His legs are moving, on their own. Every step he takes, is really painful. 

He reaches it. These trees that lining up beside each other in a beautiful way. It’s like they are there for a reason to protect. He stands between two of them looking at the cars that pass every while. 

He’s still standing there, no power to move. Maybe, he is going to stop running earlier than he thought. Surrender. Looking at the sky, stars are shinning over there. ‘I want to shine too. I want to be free. I want to know my place’, he thinks. 

 

A loud scratch brings him to reality. He looks and finds a car that has just stopped. A man is coming in his direction. He’s a panic mess looking left and right to find some shelter. He wants to run, but his legs are glued to the ground. He can’t move. He feels like he going to collapse anytime soon. But the man stops right in front of him. A few steps further. His heart is going wild. He wants to scream ‘don’ t hurt me’, but his voice is in betrayal. He just can’t find it.  Jinyoung jolts as soon as he meets the man’s eyes. He maybe has a bleading look at the man, he doesn't want the man to hurt him, he knows that ‘cause the man lift his hands, “I won’t hurt you.”, he says. Confusion is what envelopes him.

 Ealier, people kept looking at him like he’s insane, maybe he was. He hated it and when some people offered him help, he felt fear. So he refuse it-the help-from them. But this guy over there, seems so honest. His eyes says so. 

His mind is a chaos, but he nods to the guy and he doesn't know why. Warmth, he feels, somehow. The guy looks relieved as soon Jinyoung nods. 

 

“Hyung”, he hears another voice. One more is here. He is afraid. What if he is here to hurt me. A figure coming behind the guy. He looks at the guy so fast seeking for protection, shocked when he sees that the man doesn't look behind. He is still looking at him, like if Jinyoung is going to dissappear in any moment. His stomach flips. He doesn't look anyway anymore, but the guy’s eyes. He feels safe whenever he locks his eyes with. The guy asks the boy something, his face is serious but Jinyoung can’t hear. Can’t even lool anywhere, he's afraid. 

The man tells him that the boy is his friend and he nods. He trusts him. Why? He doesn't know. He’s just like the blonde man from earlier, he explains to himself.

 

A storm in his heart reaches his eyes results to forming a flood of tears which keep running down his face. Tears he kept holding but no not anymore. He screams at himself to stop, to listen to him, but his body moves on his own, doesn't being in control, aches him.

 

The man’s hand is moving till it reaches him. He sniffs, looks confused but without many thoughts he clutches to it with his two hands. It’s like the man senses his fear and give him reassure. So warm. The man looked at him with a dark look in his eyes as if he going to protect him from whatever. It's like the blonde man eyes when he told him that he's going to find him. It makes his heart acts weird, weirder than before, as there is a shiver runs down his whole body. Something in his gut too. He is not in the right state to figure what the hell is this. 

This person’s presence is just right and that's it for now. 

 

The other boy came back, giving something to the man. The man's soft voice, tells him that he will put this thing on him and he nods, just a warm voice. His body gives up but he steady himslef. 

A step closer to the man, gives him a warmth he feels like he hadn't been given in a while, a very long while. The man points him to go to the car. He still holding his hands. But with the first step he takes, a jolt of pain runs through his body. His foot betrays him and he whines from the pain, stopping immediately. He is tired and hurt, wants to cry and he does, maybe he didn't stop the moment he cried minutes ago but he feels tears running again. Fuck.

The man seems to sense where is the pain is coming. He asks if it’s his foot and he nods, he didn't speak a word but the man seem to understand from the beginning. He’s thankful. But then the man aks him to let go of his hands and his heart drops. He doesn't want to. He shakes his head like a baby. ‘No’, he want to say, ‘I feels safe when I hold it’, he wants to him to know. The guy’s eyes was giving him a look he can’t figure, but immediately the man tells him that he will be here. He is scared but he lets go and take a step closer to the man, seeking for the whatever feeling and emotions, he’s receiving whenever he is closer to the man. 

“I’m going to lift you.”,the man tells with a smile. A smile that can light the darkness he’s been living in, before he met this guy. A smile who gives him a feeling like the one he had felt it, the time he saw the trees and the blooming flowers. Maybe this smile is the reason, flowers bloom. The reason for their colors too. Yes, definitely is. 

Jinyoung doesn't know what look his eyes are like or what kind of look, they're producing right now but he hopes it’s a good one. A one that gives this man a very good feeling like the one he’s giving him whenever he looks at him fondly. He hopes. 

 

The man steps closer. More warmth even if the cold air is dancing around him playing with his hair. The man tugs the thing he puts on him tighter, that's makes him want to smile. Without any other warning, a hand was under his legs and one behind his back, lifting him from the ground. Thoughtlessly, he put his hands around the man’s neck. Surprised he was but his heart was producing his own music once he was in the man’s arms, he wishes the man doesn't hear it out. ‘It must be weird’, he thinks, but he can’t stop it. Every thing is done spontaneously. His hands shakes a little, he wants it to stop. The man tugs him closer. Oh, god, warm warm. 

The number of the times he felt warm and never voice them out, are many and his heart is a mess and his mind is a chaos but his body is strangely warm, he cares less now. He’s tired for it. 

The man’s smell is just like the smell of the flower earlier. How should he describe it? Soft, it's like gives him a reason to stay. He sighed. Taking a breath in. This smell is oddly good, strangely to him, reassuring. He wonders why. He feels for once that he is  finally at the right place. 

 

The man speaks as his voice vibrates through his own body. He feels it. He shivers. Electricity runs through every cell of his body. He is in haze. He puts his head in the man’s shoulder for support, he feels more dizzier than before. 

 

Jinyoung doesn’t feel anything but the idea he’s in good hands. He feels the man bend, struggling to get into the car. He feels sorry but he has no power to do it himself and he really doesn't want to be separated from this warm man. When the man finally sit down and his back is straight again, Jinyoung sigh in relief. He kept his gaze on the road checking how beautiful this colorful roses dangling from the trees. It gives him peace just like the man. 

 

He doesn't know he was holding the man’s clothes untill he holds it tighter, taking more support from it as soon as something burns in his face. The place where the man puts something on, hurts. Looking at the man, “I’m sorry,” the man says immediately and Jinyoung understands. The man wants to clean his face. He must be a mess, running had him so bad. He shuts his eyes, titling his head to give the man help. 

Gently, is what he should describe this. It’s like the man afraid to hurt him. Like if he is going to break, the man wipes it carefully. Jinyoung feels like a fragile piece of porcelain, the man is scared that if he push it more, he’s going to break it. But to be honest if this man’s going to break Jinyoung, he won’t mind it.

When the man finishes, Jinyoung looks at him and smiles. For the first time in this night, he sees the man fully. A bale pink hair, just like the color of these flower on the road. A beautiful face with the tiniest features. Eyes black like a calm sky. Shining when he smiles at Jinyoung. His face light up with this smile it’s just like the smile he gave him when he looked at him, but it’s more. Just more. 

His lips is smiling too. Every feature is smiling, and it's just for Jinyoung. And if the beauty of the stars has a taste, it must be like this smile. His heart is wilding and maybe he feels the man’s heart beats too. It’s making it harder. This smile is an illumination, a peace to this lost heart of himself.  
   This feeling is too much as soon the man hugs him tighter. When he plays with the hair on his face and push it. He felt the warmth his finger produced. He shivers and sighed, closes his eyes. 

The boy asking the man ㅡhis hyung as he addressed himㅡ where to go. 

Jinyoung is safe when the man says, “home”, a jolt of relief envelops him. He finally free to give up. 

 

The words of ‘don’ t trust anyone’, the man from earlier told him, doean’t feel right with this man. So he keeps them for the other people but not this unknown man. 

 

‘It’s okay to surrender, now’, he tells himself. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys, thanks for the support so far ♥


	3. ..

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark tries to not to think it much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy birthday to our beautiful angel ♥ Tuan boy, we love you...

✯ 

 

 

“I don’t know what to do, Jaebuma.” 

  Mark shifted the phone to his other ear. Looking at the half full tub right now. Sitting at the side of the tub, so focus on the water that keep filling the tub. So clear.

 

  ‘It's must be Yugyeom.’ The boy was afraid to let Mark alone. He insisted to stay with him but Mark assured him, he will be okay. So yes, he must be  the one who told Jb and Maybe at the moment the rest of his friends know. He smiled at his baby boy, knowing how he makes sure of his safety with any way possible . Now, this way was Jaebum. 

 

Yes, Jaebum. 

 

“.. rk, Mark,” Jaebum’s voice brought Mark to the reality. 

 

  The reality that there is a boy, sitting there on his couch, he really doesn’t know anything about. He just has a thing that keeps pressing on his heart at the idea of letting the boy go. A feeling from the very first second, he laid an eye on the boy. The dark hair boy in white. The same boy who is talking about with his best friend right now.

 

“I’m here, Jaebum.” Mark exhales, a breath with; he lets go of the exhaustion of his body. 

 

“Mark, focus,” A sincere tone shows how Jaebum is worried, sighing, “I’m here with you. I will help you with the boy..,” 

 

Mark cut his friend, “He didn't say a word, Jaebum. You know what that means.”

 

   The running water sound reminds Mark that he should turn off the bath tub. Running his hands through the warm water, puts a smile on his face. He can’t wait to let the boy have a warm bath. He’s been shivering all the time, that worried Mark but the amount of words the boy let out was zero and that worried Mark the most. 

 

“Yes, I know. But we can’t put any assumptions. Just do him good till he speaks. You are a doctor, Mark. You will know what to do.” 

 

 ‘No, no, Jaebum. I don't know what to do. He keeps playing with my mind'. Mark wanted to say. He was struggling to know how to start. he sighed. He should not think too much. Jb’s right, he’ll definitely know what to do. 

 

“Okay, I’ll call you if I need you. Thanks dude.” and with that Mark ended the call. 

 

  Before leaving the bathroom, he took a glimpse of himself at the mirror. He looks bad, hair disheveled, his clothes has some dirt on it, blood too. But overall he is not as bad as the boy on his house. He exhales, walking to the living room. 

 

  The boy wanted not to let him go, the moment he stepped on his place, but after doing that, the boy was curled to himself, hugging his knees to his face. Rocking his body. Maybe it will keep him safe. The boy’s eyes kept hiding under his long fringe. Mark sighed and moved to run him a path. 

 

  The boy was in the same position as before. Hugging himself even tighter.  “Hey,” Mark eyes traces the boy movement as he flinched. Looking t Mark. Mark jolts, locking eyes with the boy. 

 

  The feeling is so raw whenever he meets the boy’s eyes. The strands of this dark hair was hiding such a beautiful eyes. Again. The blackness  which is at the center of the whiteness, was drowning him to an ocean. Ocean of feelings, he didn't want them to wake up after his break up with Hyuk. 

 

No, no, no. 

 

  The feelings he had with Hyuk were nothing, compared to this. Now,they are more intimate, more powerful. They make him weak yet strong. Confused, he is, now. 

 

  But, those eyes want to scream at the moment. He reads them so well, he doesn't know how, but he does anyway. He just want to free them from the agony, kiss them free but he ground himself. The boy in front, is a total stranger. Stranger, he reminds himself.

 

But this stranger manages to have this effect on him. 

 

  He inhales once, exhales it, to steady himself. Those eyes are just some magnetic fields force him to be pulled to something he thinks that not right at all. But then these eyes gives him the softest look ever ‘cause the boy smiled. Even the smile on the car shouldn't be compared to this. 

 

  It’s like the look you give your mom whenever she tucks you in bed. The eyes shines with love and appreciation to the safest person you lose your guidance to. Mark wanted to scream now, too much, that’s too much. He needs an escape. 

 

  “IㅡI ran you a bath,” Mark cursed his stuttering. Face hot, his whole body is hot. Even his brain is melting right now. “ I also put some clean clothes for you there.” 

 

 Swallowing the fever of this, Mark nods when the boy nods.  
 

  The boys whines again once his leg met the floor. Glancing at the boy feet, he reminds himself to get his first aid after the boy’s bath, to treat it well. Mark moved to support him, guiding him to the bathroom. A hand holding the boy’s forearm, to steady him. 

 

  A simple touch of skin made the boy eyes goes wide, hesitant. But saying no to this help wasn't the good choice right now. Mark ignored the buzzing sound in his ear. 

 

 Once the boy was in, he shuts the door and breath in sigh, what’s really going on with him? 

 

 

 

 °°°

 

 

 “Stay still for me for just few minutes. I know it hurts but I had to do that or it will be worse.”

  Mark met the boy eyes, who hissed and flinched once the alcoholic cotton bad touches his feet. 

 

  He is really more beautiful, now he is in clean clothes. Smells like Mark’s favourite smell and his hair is damp, wet. He wants to push it up for the boy but he holds himself. For God sake Mark. 

 

  “I am sorry, but bear with me.” Mark speaks softly.

 

   Mark knows it hurts but he has to, and Mark just wants to throw them away. The boy gives him no other choice with those looks. Hell. But he is strong. He is a doctor. He should treat these injuries. 

 

  “Okay?!” Mark smiled and took the boys leg again and placed it on his thigh once the boy nods. 

 

   The boy who seemed so fragile in his arms not an hour ago in that white piece was now gone. After wearing Mark’s shirt and the joggers, the boy built is shown. Well built, but he needs some nutrition to build up his muscles. The boy seemed athletic. Mark is impressed but confused, thinking of what could happen to him!

    He really wants him to talk but he can’t press it. He is the only one that kept moving his lips, murmuring to him but he’s not upset. He is just so eager to understand. 

 

 

  The bottom part of the foot was the part that was badly injured. It must be. It looks like the boy met unpleasant grounds. Since Mark found him barefooted. But thank god it looks like nothing serious. He tried to delicately treat it well. He is really pissed off for this boy. 

 

  Once he finish, he put the boy’s leg down. He turned to face him. He was really tired, he needs a bath too but he should just take care of this lost beautiful cat in front of him. What the hell?! Did he just compared a total stranger to a cat? But he does look like one. Okay shut up now. Mark shakes these thoughts away.

 

  The boy cheek was tainted faintly pink once he met his eyes. Mark convinced himself that it was a result of the warm bath. He took a good look at the boyㅡhe looks really goodㅡ smiling that he’s warm and not shivering anymore. 

    
  Mark cleared his throat, “ummm, I need to apply some cream of your face,” hoping the boy let him. 

 

One nod. Two nods. Okay. 

 

   Mark tries not to focus on the boy’s eyes. They are so so clear yet ambiguous. Wrong but so right. Powerful yet so weak. And that really not a good thing for his mind right now, nor even his heart. 

 

   Mark has been rewarded for the third time today. 

A smile. 

  Blindly beautiful smile. And Mark really wants to fan his face, but then a piano melody is played like a delicate pat on the head. A gentle hug to his soul was the boy voice, when it hits him, “... nyoung,” 

 

 “Excuse me!” Mark was surprised. 

 

   The boy kept blinking, thinking and Mark cursed himself for not hearing him well at the first time. 

 

“J-Jinyoung,” the boy finally speaks, “my name is Jinyoung.” 

 

   Mark ‘o’ face made the boy giggle. A soft giggle that didn't last too much but the effect of it will. Mark swears it will. A giggle which shakes the boy, lulling Mark’s heart to its ease. His mind to his satisfaction. 

 

Jinyoung, Jinyoung. He repeated in his mind. without thinking “beautiful,” he murmurs, the boy’s eyes widen ….. Sh-shit, shit. 

 

  Mark can feel the fire set up on his cheeks and the one plays with the boy ones too. He did that to him, again. Yes. but it’s not that time to congratulate himself right now. He is a whole mess right now. Whipped mess.

 

 Scratching the back of his neck, “I am Mark.”

 

Smooth, Mark. Good distract. 

 

  The boy eyes traces his hands to look at his neck. Mark feels hot again. He needs to stop this game, so he stand up immediately, surprising the boy who jolts in his place. He’s sorry but it’s so suffocating here.

 

 The intensity of these eyes and what they do to him is just too much. 

 

 

  “Jinyoung..”, for the first time now Mark calls the boy. How easily the name sounds. Beautiful, it suits the boy. How and why?! It’s just feel like that. 

 

The boy looks at him, eager to hear his name and be called by it. Mark wants to laugh, he’s like a baby.

 

“ah... are you hungry?”, Mark tries to control his voice. 

 

With a puppy kicked look Jinyoung nods and Mark smiled. 

So small. So beautiful. 

 

“Okay then.”

 

 

°°°

 

 

  Jinyoung was hungry. He ate all of what Mark served him and when Mark put another portion for him, he ate it too. Mark’s heart clenched for that. Poor boy. He was starving, he drank a lot of water too. It's not that Mark isn't happy. It's just he's so pissed at the circumstances that the boy went through to be starved and injured like this. This beautiful flower.

 

-

 

   After food, he left Jinyoung to take a bath and when he finished, he was faced with a peaceful Jinyoung lying on the couch. Soundly asleep. He smiled, headed to his room to grab a blanket and covering the boy. He wants to tuck him in bed but he’s afraid he will wake him up. 

 

   Now when he has a time to think. He doesn't know what to do. Jaebum offered him help but where to start. Only that he found a boy. A Stranger, almost at the middle of nowhere. He didn’t say a word but his name. Lost.  Mark sighed, head buzzing from headache, pinching the top of his nose as a way to reduce his exhaustion. He need to talk to the boy properly tomorrow but he’s also afraid if he will affect the boy in some bad way. To bring up a trauma he no wants to. Hopefully that will not happen. He just needs to help. 

 

 

°°°

 

 

  Mark couldn't have enough sleep. No, he couldn't sleep at all. His brain was eating him. How he could take an unknown and put it inside his house. ‘But he was afraid, lost, he has nowhere to go’, he defended. What if, idiot? His brain was really hyper and he shut it out by accepting the fact that he would help anyone. 

 

  Brightness came through his window announcing the new morning. He's just thankful he slept well in his trip with Yugyeom. He would be a walking zombie if he didn't. 

 

  Jinyoung is still asleep. He must be really tired. He really can’t judge him. God only knows what he’s been through. Sighing, he heads soundless to the bathroom. Brushing his teeth, washing his face. He feels alive. At least, refreshing feeling. 

 

  Oh, Coffee. 

 

   He leans on the kitchen counter crossing his arms on his chest, waiting for the coffee. He watches Jinyoung in silence. The rise of his chest whenever he inhale. The fall of it with every exhale. 

 

   Rhythmic miracle, once it was cut off, the human would be a forgotten corpse under the dirt. He is always impressed by that. A doctor he was. He see deaths almost everyday, so he appreciates these functions of every tiny cell, tissue, organ and any system of the body. He smiled, shutting his eyes, taking some of the fresh air.   
   
     
  He is just in relief. Smiling ‘cause Jinyoung is here, in peace. The boy is seriously occupying his mind, the first time he laid an eye on. 

 Unhealthy, Mark. 

 

 

ㅡ

 

   A sharp sound made him jump on his place. Cutting him from the nirvana of thoughts he was occupied in. What the fuck! 

Scream.

  A loud one, his heart dropped when he put a hand on his thoughts. 

Jinyoung. 

Looking from his place, Jinyoung was breathing hard or wasn’t breathing at all. Only pained sound, was coming from his throat. 

Mark starts to run to him. Heart aching to stop it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy birthday to our beautiful angel ♥ Tuan boy, we love you...


	4. ..

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jinyoung's memories

    ☄

 

   
 _Spring._  
   
Spring is a season of the blooming flowers. The flowers that rarely someone hates. It's just the warm air, along with the sunrays that play us warm and cool. The feeling of self relief. It’s just like now; with Jinyoung lying on this meadow of baby flowers. Back to the ground, eyes are shut as the sunrays dance on his face. A smile form on Jinyoung as he inhales some of this fresh air.  

_“Oh, Jinyoung ah, It’s a butterfly.”_

_Soothing voice made Jinyoung open his eyes. Almost screaming as he met with the eyes of a boy just inches from his face._

_“Hyuuung, you scared me,” Jinyoung whines. Eyes are wide. Smiling after realizing who’s the boy was._

_His hyung is as beautiful as those flowers. He’s been always the most beautiful friend and a brother he has. He needed no one but him._

_“what?”, the boy laughed. A laugh Jinyoung always wishes it lasts forever. But now he wants to take revenge, Jinyoung narrowed his eyes at the boy as a devilish smirk danced on his face. Sensing Jinyoung moves; the boy stands straight, taking a step back._

_Jinyoung stood up fast, he has been always fast. Light on move. Startling the boy who took another step back eyes widen of surprise and fear of what is just to come. The boys falter for a second and Jinyoung take his chance landing on the boy who just fell on his back. Laughing hard._

_“Jin… Jinyou.. ng, stuh… stop,” laughing hard between words as a panting mess the boy was. Breathing hard because of the laughs, Jinyoung hands producing when his fingers play with his brother's side. Jinyoung laughs even more. Tickling was his brother weakness. He always makes advantage of that._

_“Jin, Jinyoung ah. Boys stop playing and come now. Dinner is ready.” a beautiful woman smiled at the boys from the house door. Turning her back at them as soon as she knew that she was heard._

_Jinyoung stops and smiles at the red faced hyung under him when he heaved a sigh. Standing up, stretching a hand for his hyung who took it eagerly, with a beautiful fond expression on his face._

_“If it’s not for mom, you would be dead.” Jinyoung wiggles his brows, earning a hit on the back of his head._

_“Brat.” a headlock after teasing and playing was always his brother habit. A habit; mades Jinyoung heart beats with love. He is so lucky to have him in his life._

_Once they reached the door of their house, the aroma of his mom’s food penetrated his nostrils. The smell they always were blessed with. ‘Oh, Mom.’ he smiles and closes his eyes with the first step to his lovely home._

_ㅡ_

_“Mom.”_

_Screams cut through his throat once he opens his eyes to just met with his hyung arms around him in protective hug. He was just about to enter his home. But now, now..._

_“It’s okay, Jinyoung-ah.” His hyung voice is stabilizing him. Soothing the fast heart beats to its own regular pace. “Hyung is here. Hyung got you.” Jin hands never broke the rub moves on his back._

_Jinyoung clutches for dear at his hyung shirt. Shutting his eyes, he tries to calm himself._

_“Sleep now baby. We don’t want to get punished for waking up the others.”_

_‘The others.’ Confused Jinyoung opens his eyes to study the place. Adjusting his eyes to the darkness. A line of beds are was across of him. Frowning, “hyung,” he starts, then stopped taking the whole situation in his mind. Before a low ‘ah’ runs from his mouth. He feels his brother shoulders tensed but after realizing what it is. He reminds himself for the hundredth time what he promised his brother and himself with._

_‘I will be brave for both of us.’_

_The lines played as a broken cassette in his head. But he needs to even if he’s afraid_

_“Don’t worry hyung. It’s just like always but I will go to sleep.” Jinyoung finally speaks. Looking at his brother. The faint light on his brother's face shows his dark circles surrounding his eyes, which shows how exhausted he is. Jinyoung heart breaks for all the burden his brother carries and he is sorry. He is really really sorry._

_Smiling, “you need some sleep too. These dark things,” pointing at his brothers eyes, “make you ugly, sun boy.” A nickname Jinyoung gave his brother because their mom always called him sunshune._

_“Brat.” Jin laughs. He knows that Jinyoung tries to relieve him and Jinyoung knows that from the look._

_Tucking him to bed, Jin did with a soft kiss of his hair.  With ‘Everything is gonna be okay.’ he lulled himself to the unknownㅡto sleep and to another unknown day._

_ㅡ_

_“No, no, stop.”  
Jinyoung squirms from the hands that been holding him still. Stopping him from moving no more. He feels small. _

_He always tells his hyung that he is strong enough, tall enough to fight and Jin always let him win the fight when they play together. But now he wants to really win but he feels hopeless as these disgusting big hands hugging his body. Taking him away from the hyung who is screaming and crying across of him._

_Jinyoung streches his hands to his hyung to take it but they are so far away. His hyung is throwing fists at a stranger man in black suit but the man never falter. Not moving even an inch.._

_He swallows the fear once, twice, but it can’t be helped as it just keeps spilling from the already full cup and drowning his body._

_“Hyung,” he screams, stretching his hands more even if it won’t ever reach unless he free himself. ‘no’ he thinks and think._

_Without thinking he bites the man who was holding him, hand. The man shouts letting him go. Quickly, he runs to his brother, hugging him for life as his brother tugging him for dear too._

_“You promised me that will never be separated.” His brothers shouts at an old woman at his left. “You promised,” that once sentence wasn’t heard by anyone. Just Jinyoung hears when his brother's arms pulling him tighter more than ever._

_It’s like the first game a baby get which he really loves and always clutches it to his chest wherever he goes._

_He felt tears stream from him and Jin. ‘No, no.’_

_“Hyung, don’t cry. I’m here.” he tries to assure his hyung and his brother smiles nodding before a dark look takes place on his eyes when he looks over Jinyoung’s shoulder. His heart dropped at the realization of what is going to happen._

_Shaking his head, “no, no, please.” Jin tears scream as well as his mouth. Never able to say anything, Jinyoung was dragged with the same arms again._

_“You shitheads, I’m going to burn you alive.”_

_Jinyoung just watch as his brother breaks again. Jin always been quite quiet boy. He always advice him to think everything._

_But now all gone the calm boy with the brightest smile._

_“I will never forgive you,” furious he was. Taking a step at the same old woman, before someone drag him far from here. He shouts again and Jinyoung tries to find his voice again but he’s tired. He feels light, everything spinning. Darkness is swallowing him. He tries to saty awake looking at his brother again. The man hit him and his hyung falls on the floor. That's when he screams._

__

 

°°°

 

 

“Hyung,” he screams again and again. 

He sits up quickly. Clutching his hands at the soft matter under his fingers. He breathes hard and fast and he can't control it. His eyes are full of tears that fall once he open his eyes. 

“Jinyoung, breath.”, he hears. 

Trying to focus his eyes of the source of the voice. Eyes blurry from the tears the keeps forming. His hands are now fists steadying him on the couch. 

 

“Jinyoung look at me.” Oh yes, the voice. A figure sitting across of him. “It’s me, Mark.”

 

Concentrating and studying the figure face, he remembers slowly yesterday's events. 

 

“Breath for me, flower.” Concerned tone hits him and if Jinyoung wasn't this place right now. His heart would change its pace due the nickname. But not now. 

 

He feels hands on his fists. Un-clutching them, hilding them, stopping their shaking. The shaking he didn't felt but now. 

“Maah.. ark.” He says between breathes. It’s like a survival word for him now. 

 

“Yes flower, I’m here.” he really wants to smile but he just can’t. 

 

“I want you to look at me,” afinger on his chin, brings him face to face with the beautiful voice owner. 

 

He loolks at him, “just focus on me. Follow my moves.” Jinyoung nods involuntarily. 

“Breath in, breath out.” Mark kept repeating the same thing and he found himself following it. One breath in and one out. Again. His heart start to return to its pace. His head start buzzing a little less. His vision starts to be clear. 

A hand caresses his cheeks. Thump wiping away the tears. Jinyoung feels like Jin’s hand warmth and saftey except it’s not Jin but a total starnger, Mark. But he’s thankful for the calmness these hands of a stranger produced after a chaos. 

 

Meeting the boy eyes was a tide of an ocean. Moving his body like it wants. Mark eyes was full of worry and concern and that made his heart beats. Seeing all the care he receives from the boy across of him is making him feels good in a way.

A shiver runs along Jinyoung spine, spreading at the end, make every cell of his boy hot. Just like fireworks. The feeling settles down at the end of his abdomen. He feels even dezzier. 

“You are okay now?”...

 Far from okay, he feels. But he won’t mouth it. He’s promised to be brave. He needs to figure all this out but his minds buzzing with headache. He hissed. Holding his head with the free hand while the other is occupied with Mark’s. 

 

“What is it? Headache?”, Jinyoung nods. 

 

Mark lets go of him and stand up immediately. It feels cold at the area Mark’m was holding earlier and that's not right for Jinyoung to crave more of _Mark’s warmth. Mark’s Closeness. Mark’s touches._

 

_No, that's not right. Not at all._

 

Mark returns with a capsule and a cup of water and hands it to Jinyoung who took it with a slightly shaking hands. 

Warm was the water. Jinyoung throat thanks Mark for that. 

 

“Thank you.” He finally speaks, putting the cup on the coffee table across from the couch. Looking at the boy who still standing.  He takes a long look, _beautiful_ , he thinks. _Very._

 

Sitting on the table across, Mark’s thighs touch Jinyoung’s who settles himself by sitting straight on the couch, legs on the floor. Jinyoung jolts at the touch, hot current flows through his body. He looks at Mark at the moment the latter asks, “was it a nightmare?”. 

 

Jinyoung scoffed. _Was it? No, it wasn't._

 

“In fact, it’s more of a memory,” the boy sigh. Mark tenses. Jinyoung can read his eyes; concern and surprise. Surprise of what kind of a memory makes its owner screams like that. Jinyoung can’t give a definite answer to this unspoken question though. 

 

“D.. do you want to talk about it?” a little hesitant Mark was but Jibyoung can sense the honesty. 

 

“Not now. I’m tired.” Jinyoung shakes his head. He is tired, he feels like that his world was weighing him down. His memories weakened him and his throat is complaining too, even after the warm water. 

 

A breath out. 

 

“Do you know?” Mark asks, looking at him. 

 

“Know what?”Jinyoung is confused, frowning his brows. 

 

“It’s the longest conversation we had since yesterday when I met you.” Mark cheeks was red. Red. And Jinyoung can’t help but laugh. This man is making him messier than he already is. 

 

“Oh” Jinyoung found himself murmuring. Maybe his cheeks are tomatoes now too ‘cause his face feels like on fire. 

 

Mark coughed, “it's… It’s not a bad thing,” Mark is flustered. Scratching the back of his neck. Jinyoung smiles at the action. Jinyoung thinks it’s a habit; because he saw the man doing it more than just a one too whenever he is embarrassed, not knowing what to do. Jinyoung heart never stopped its fast pace around the boy. 

 

“It’s just… you know. I was worried because you didn’t say a word but..” trying to get hold on his words Mark breathed, _Cute._

 

“but It’s okay. I will be here whenever you feel like, to talk, okay?”, Jinyoung nods, “okay.”

 

 

_____

 

 

 

 ✯  

 

 

Mark was staring at the outside. Sun shining spreading the yellow warmth. A hand was holding the mobile to his ear while the other was resting on the glass in front. Moving his hand right and left on the glass wall, he felt the heat of the sun. 

 

His apartment was really neat. He loves it like that. He chose it himself. It’s not as wide as a penthouse but it’s wide enough for him. Nice neighborhood, the 12th floor, one side glass wall; gives him the best look at the city. But it’s quiet enough for him to live in. 

 

“Morning,” finally the call connected and Jaebum’s voice is here. 

 

“Hey Jaebuma, I’m sorry. I’m calling in the middle of your shift but I couldn't sleep,” Mark was really sorry. The younger must be busy. Surgeries and patients to check on, but he needed to talk to his friend again even if just a couple of hours just passed on their last call. 

 

“It’s okay hyung, I got like 10 minutes free before the next surgery.” Jaebum stop and Mark hears a scratch of a chair. He must be pulling a chair to set. 

 

“Tell me, how’s your boy?” Mark cheeks goes red.

“ for god sake Jaebum, he’s not my anything.” Mark is flustered. Shaking his head. The boy doing him no good but he is not his anything. Fuck Jaebum and the teasing. 

 

“yeah, yeah.” Mark hears Jaebum snort. Mark want to punch him, “listen idiot,” jaebum laughs and Mark smiled faintly. He continued, “ He woke up screaming. I ran to him and he was a mess Jaebum,” recalling Jinyoung’s face, Mark’s heart skip a beat. Worried. “Jinyoung was terrified, crying. I somehow managed to calm him and when I asked him if it was a nightmare he smiled and told me that it was a memory.”

 

Talking to much, Mark tries to breath a little. Putting the phone on the other ear and resting his forehead on the wall. The warmth he feels, makes him shiver. 

 

“What memory triggers him to be like that. Screaming in agony. Crying also, Jaebum, huh?” with the last word he closes his eyes shut. He wants to help the boy. He feels like breaking if he couldn't protect him. It’s like he’s the one in condemnation. 

 

“Hey, Mark. Calm down.” Jaebum finally speaks. “It’s not like it’s your fault or something.” _Jaebum this idiot_ always has the right answer for the unspoken questions. Mark smiled. 

 

“You’re the one who literally saved him. God knows what could have happened if you didn't found him that night?” Mark shivers at the thought that a bad thing could have happened to Jinyoung if he wasn't there. He loves Yugyeom for taking them to Gyeongju that day. 

 

“I know but I feel helpless whenever I meet his eyes and I don’t know why, Jae” yes, he does but he can’t figure it out. 

 

“You just want to help aaaand,” Jaebum note changes and Mark knows what about to come from this man. Before opening his mouth to warn the boy, Jaebum continues, “it seems like you have liking to him.” 

 

Mark opens his eyes, the warmth on his body is because of the sun and it's not what this brat said, he convinced himself. But Jaebum is not totally wrong. He does likes the boy. Maybe a little more than he should have but the boy gives him no other choice. 

 

Shifting, he rests his back to the wall. Facing the face of the again sleeping Jinyoung. After calming the boy and giving him a medication for the headache and after the very _pitifully - gay panicked Mark - shy_ conversation. Jinyoung wanted to rest and sleep again. He looked tired and Mark hopes he doesn't have another thing to interrupt his sleep again. 

 

The boy is beautiful. The sunrays plays with his face. Eyelashes long and skin glowing under the natural dim light. Breathtaking. Mark laughs warmly at the boy’s hair. 

 

 

__

_“Hy.. Hyung,” Mark noticed Jinyoung hesitation and his flustered look when he met Mark’s eyes. Mark was all chaos when he heard the name, lifting up his two brows._

_“I.. Well, you look older than me. So.. I… I thought that…”_

_“It’s okay Jinyoung, you can call me hyung.” Mark cuts the mess of stuttering Jinyoung. Jinyoung breathed in relief. Cute._

_“umm, do you have something I could tie my hair with. It tickles my face when I sleep.”_

_Jinyoung hair was indeed long so he just got him a simple elastic hair tie and Jinyoung took it with a smile._

_Observing Jinyoung hands moving, makes Mark heart beating so fast. Every move puts a smile on his face. How his hands takes his hair softly tucking it up. Pouting whenever a strand of hair slips between his fingers and fall._

_Pouty lips. For god sake. No, Mark. Just no._

_Shaking his head he looks at apple hair Jinyoung. The most beautiful. Beautiful, his forehead is showing. Eyebrows and eyelashes pretty dark black. Eyes are black also._

_Everything is beautiful._

_Pink, Jinyoung cheeks has got due to the long stare of Mark at him but Mark never faltered. His eyes are resolute to show the younger how beautiful he is. And he won when Jinyoung blinks and got more redder and dragged his eyes to focus on the blanket._

_“Sleep now, flower.” Mark finally says. Amusingly._

_Jinyoung looks at him, nodding, pulling the blanket under his chin and closing his eyes._

__

 

 

 

“Maybe I do, Jaebum-a.” finally cutting the silence and the train of his thoughts. 

 

“I thought you slept on me hyung,” Jaebum laughs, “but you didn't deny that, I don’t know what to say except Let's just find who he is and help him for himself first and for you second.” 

 

“Yes, let's do that.” Mark smiles. 

 

“So did you know anything that could help us.” 

 

“His name is Jinyoung. That all what he said, but…” Mark smiled at the scrunching of face, Jinyoung just have made, “ when he was screaming he was saying hyung, Jin hyung, so maybe he has a brother or a friend named Jin”, that's all what he thinks of right now. 

 

“That’s will be useful I think. I will let Jackson call Shownu hyung, the man is always on act. I want you to take a picture of your boy too and sent to me that will help more.”

 

 Jaebum is right.  Shownu was a friend of Jackson, a talented detective. Sharp features as sharp as his sight. Never losing unsolved cases, he has always admired the boy confidence and hard work. He trusted him always having justice for the cases that would showed up beating up in the hospital. Sometimes it’s a fight and sometimes it’s assholes of persons beating up their family and Mark despises the last the most. 

 

He finally speaks again, “okay but I will ask him first.” Mark doesn't want to do something the younger could hate. 

 

“Okay then hyung. I will wait for your confirmation and see you tomorrow at work.”

 

“Thanks, Jaebum-a.”

 

“It’s nothing, hyung. Really.” and with another final goodbye, the call ended. 

 

 

 

Mark pushes himself to head to the kitchen. His coffee is long forgotten but he needs it. He just goint to do another cup, or maybe two. He takes one last look at Jinyoung. He is breathing well, even. Mark is thankful.

A bang hits his heart announcing the more admiration of the boy lying there and another bang for the determination of helping him. 

 

 

_You are going to do this, Mark and you are going to do it right._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _The Solo MVs for godsake. Are you dying like me???_


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys' meeting and more of Jinyoung's love is showing

            

 

 

             ☄

 

 

_Jin hyung. Mom. The orphanage and the people taking me away. That old woman. And. Jin hyung. I miss him. He was my solitary.. yes.. Him._

 

“Hyung.” Jinyoung cut himself out the running thoughts in his mind. Looking at Mark who was sipping his coffee silently beside him. 

 

Mark Spun to support his back to the balcony railing, facing Jinyoung. Now that he was looking at him. He was beautiful. Moonlight illuminate the night. Eyes twinkling with reflection. The faint pink is fading from his hair, dark color’s replacing it. Wow. 

 

“Yes, Jinyoung.” Mark voice cut him from his delusional state. He must look so weird. Jinyoung coughs, “ummm,well….”

 

He wants to say a lot of things. First thank you for all of what he’s doing for him. Letting him stay at his place. Treating his injuries. Giving him clothes. Calling a friend to help and never force him to talk unless it’s him to initiate it first. That what you Hyung did, and you hyung never asks for anything in return. 

 

Mark is a great hyung to him and he loves it. Mark is his hyung for now. 

 

Also he wants to say that he missed him all day, today. It’s been almost three days and it’s the first day he let him alone today and went to work. 

He missed him but maybe because he is the warmest person he had met after his escape from what he wants to remember. He missed the little of him and the more of him.

But the man has work to do and it’s not like Jinyoung is a baby need some babysitting _ㅡyes he is a baby whenever Mark’s aroundㅡ_ ,   No, definitely not. 

 

 

“I just want to thank you for the effort you are making to help me.” Jinyoung finally speaks. “Also thanks for doing this after asking me.” 

 

Jinyoung respected Mark more and decided to trust him more after the older ask his permission for help. Jinyoung really appreciates this and admires the boy for what he showed him till now. The boy whom doesn't know anything about him or wherever he’s coming from. He is just so lucky that a kind man found him. 

 

The man was giving him a soft look, “It’s okay, flower. I chose to help and I choose what I’m comfortable with. Helping you is really what I want,”  
Mark was about to open his mouth to talk and continue when the doorbell rang,

 

 “oh I forgot to tell you that the boy were coming tonight. I’m sorry”, Jinyoung heart skipped a beat then fasten at Mark’s words. He didn't know what to say. Oh with a nod was the key to Mark moving to open the door for his friends. 

 

 

To be honest, Jinyoung was afraid. He didn't see anyone but Mark since that night,even the boy who was with him didn't come another time here. 

He moved his leg to get inside. The air starts to get cold or maybe the uncertainty of what is about to come is what made him shivers. 

 

Loud footsteps and laughs that stopped when the eyes met Jinyoung’s. Being the spotlight wasn't a thing he loves. All the eyes on him, he felt uncomfortable. He searched for the only pair that he feel safe whenever he looks at. _Mark’s._  And it’s like the calmness of a night when Mark smiles at him. Reassuring him. 

It’s like he sensed him being uncomfortable and it did took him a one blink of an eye to find Mark beside him. Jinyoung looked at Mark again to find him still putting the same smile, “don’t worry flower. It’s just my friends.” voice was low just for him to hear. 

 

 Jinyoung was stiff but every time Mark calling him by that nickname, he can’t concentrate at anything but the older. He took a breath and smiled faintly, spinning his head to look at  three good looking men and two beaming boys. His heart warmed ‘cause they all were giving him beautiful smiles,friendly.

 

A cough cut him from overthinking again. It was from a beautiful tall man putting his arm around another one of them. A one with a beautiful smile reminds him of his brother, sunshine. They both have moles! _Oh cute._

 

“So Mark this is your boy,” the man speaks with a smirk and Jinyoung's cheeks were playing with fire. 

 

“Hi.. His boy!” looking at Mark, Jinyoung was shocked with a same hot cheeks mess Mark. He wants to laugh but… 

 

“Shut up, Jaebum.” Mark’s eyes were glaring at the manㅡJaebum. But cheeks still pinker than they were. 

 

“Jinyoung,” Mark gives him a smile again after, “that idiot who just talk nonsense is Jaebum.” 

 

All the boys were laughing now and Jinyoung beamed. He starts loving this side of Mark. “ and he is so whipped for the ball of fluff beside him. He is even being protective now see..” Mark pointed at the two boys who were shy now, “hyuuung,” Jaebum whines. Mark snorts and Jinyoung laughed. 

 

“The ball of fluff hyung just mentioned is me Youngjae. Nice to meet you,” the boy is a literally a sunshine, Jinyoung could swear. He gave him a wink with a loud laughter that could make Jinyoung forget his worries for a second. 

 

“Nice to meet you too ball of fluff, I mean Youngjae.”

Jinyoung felt proud when he earns a loud laugh from Mark and the others too. He is doing so well. 

 

“Hyung, I love him already. The man have sense.” a boy slimmer than them all, with long legs speaks, heading to set on the couch. “My name is  Bambam and this man over there,” pointing at a all black clothed man with a cap, smiling, “ he is the one who is whipped for me.”

 

 Sticking out his tongue at the same man who is now heading to him. Loud laughs maybe screams interrupt the place once the man’s fingers start tickling Bambam.

 

 _Just like me and Jin hyung._ The situation made him go back to the memory he had in the dream. His brother laughs and his smiles….

 

 

“Well, it’s true. I’m so whipped,” the man voice brought Jinyoung from his haze. “ I am Jackson and now I know why Mark hyung couldn’t shut up at how beautiful you are. You are so beautiful.”

 

Beautiful...Mark…..Mark talked about him. _Oh God._

 

Consciously, Jinyoung hides his face on his hands. He feels hot not only on his face but on all of his body. Smiling he was when he he heard jackson say,   
“ oh add a cute to all the description, guys.”

 

“shut up idiot. You are making him uncomfortable.” Mark tone was higher. Jinyoung looked at Mark who just broke his eye contact with him, “thi.. this is Yugs. Yugyeom, he is the youngest along with Bambama. You saw him before. That.. That night,”

 

Mark was scratching his neck again. Jinyoung smiled even when his cheeks still burn. _Cute.._

 

“Oh yes I remember him.” Jinyoung finally says, “Hi” waving at the tallest boy earning a Hi back. Gosh, adorable, why he would be scared of such a child like baby face. 

 

“suit yourself idiots. Am making us the best drink in this whole world,” Mark smirks,

 

“Coffee” all the boys shouts. Mark is grinning looking at them, "bingo" , Laughter fills the room. 

 

Jinyoung is smiling, maybe he is going to get used to these moments. 

 

 

 

°°°

 

 

 

Jinyoung found himself heading after Mark to the kitchen. Sounds of opening and closing and then seven mugs where lined at the counter, waiting to be filled by Mark’s best drink. _‘This man is a coffee addict, I swear to God.’_

 

“You love coffee that much.” 

 

Jinyoung is now resting his back to the counter. Head briefly spun to look at Mark on his side. Mark smiled beautifully,” yes I do. It’s what keeps me holding a bit when am about to collapse at work,” Mark is now looking at him and he just lose it whenever the boy did. It's really unfair. 

 

“but it's just I love coffee because it’s coffee.” Mark added, pausing to take a good look at Jinyoung and the younger felt vulnerable under this look. Heart pausing, beating again when Mark starts to talk again, 

 

How can a person unintentionally plays him like a puppet like that. He finds no answer and decides to let it for now. 

 

“Jinyoung I know this all new to you and somehow you feel lost but I’m sure you will be fine. At least I won’t let anything happens to you when you are by my side. And I want you to know that I'm not going anywhere far from you until you find who you are,”

 

 Mark words are full of confidence. _Confidence,_ that was thrown at him, making Jinyoung unable to speak. Just swallowing whatever Mark says and believing him. Blinking, cheeks began to get warmer. Mark should have read him ‘cause he is smirking but he just ignores it and move to fill the cups and Jinyoung is truly thankful. Another look and he doesn't know what will it make right out him than fooler than he already is. 

 

“My friends are worthy to trust. I trust them by my life,” proud smile tops Mark’s mouth. A smile shows how he loves his friends and Jinyoung smiles at the warmth envelopes him. 

 

Maybe I have friends that I love like my Jin hyung.

 

“today at work they told me that they want to know you and they want to help. I’m sorry I forgot to tell you…,”

 

“It’s okay hyung,” Jinyoung says, cutting Mark. It was really okay after that brief introduction. The boys seem funny and they are good company and he doesn't mind it. At all. 

 

“Okay then. Let's go.” Mark lift a tray with four mugs while gesturing at Jinyoung to hold the another tray. Jinyoung smiles. Heading after Mark to the gather. Hearing Mark voice, “I see that you made yourself comfortable.”

 

Curiously, Jinyoung looks over Mark’s shoulder to see the boys all on the ground. Blankets and pillows are arranged on the floor. Both the couples were. Youngjae is nestling his head on one of Jaebum’s shoulders and Bambam’s head is on Jackson thigh. Laying on top of the blanket on the floor. Jackson was playing with his hair with a soft expression on his face. 

 

Jinyoung smiled, looking for Yugyeom. The boy was sitting on a chair looking disgustingly at the boys and Jinyoung laughs. Putting the tray on the small table in the middle. He and Mark sat on the couch. 

 

“I see Yugyeom having an internal trauma looking at you.” Mark laughs. His voice vibrates Jinyoung’s body cells and warming him inside. He loves all of the older; his voice, laughs and giggles. 

 

“I am going to give all the love to my drink. That's better,” taking the cup of coffee on his hands and sipping carefully. Sighing after a first gulp.” yes, definitely better and healthier.” sticking a tongue out for the boys on the floor, smiling. 

 

The boys laugh and they all look at him fondly . Jinyoung never missed the looks they gave to their youngest. They full of love and fondness and he fell for this trap; the loving and admiring- for the younger boy. 

 

“Just see him when he looks at Jungkook or whenever the boy is beside him and you will know what the internal and external trauma is hyung,” Bambam laughs and Yugyeom cheeks were on fire, that he put his coffee down and fanned his face. Throwing one of the pillows at the boy, scoffing at Jackson when he glare at him. 

 

“Slow down tiger,” Jaebum says to Jackson who laughs as nothing happens. 

 

This definitely happens always. Jinyoung wants to be part of it. 

 

“So Jinyoung hyung….” Yugyeom pause, puffing his cheeks. Adorable….. “It's.. o.. okay to call you hyung r-right?” 

 

Jinyoung hears Mark laughs. He knows exactly what he laughs at. He’s definitely remembering a fool stranger stuttering when he calls him hyung for a first. Jinyoung smiles and sighs. He made himself look like an idiot that time. looking at Yugyeom, “It’s okay Yugyeomie,” winking at the boy. 

 

 

Jinyoung finds himself comfortable with the boys. They all caring and warm people like Mark. He laughs whenever the boys tease each other and smiles whenever he feels the love they all giving to each other. 

 

He looks at his side. Mark’s canine teeth are showing because of the wide smile he has on his face. A one that lights his whole face, shaking a little with a laugh maybe the boys said something funny but he is not focusing now. Maybe later.

 

 A strand of Mark’s hair falls on his eyes and the younger wants to push it back but Mark brushes it back with his index finger. His beautiful fingers. Now when Jinyoung see Mark’s hands are pretty. Finger long but slim and firm. His hands are stable, veiny. He loves them. 

 

 

“.... young, hyung.” a voice brought him to the moment. His face is getting hot from all the amused looks the boys give him. He wants to run away now. Coughing as if nothing happened. Looking as far as he could, not glancing at Mark, “wa.. what?”, he murmured meeting Bambam’s eyes. 

 

“ nothing..” bambam wiggles his brows. Jinyoung wants to be put on ice.

 

“stop teasing him you fool,” he hears Mark scolding the younger and smiles, 

 

“now we need to talk about Jinyoung. Jackson did you call Shonwu?” Mark’s voice was serious now. 

 

 

Three days was enough for Jinyoung to define the difference emotions in Mark’s voice. Maybe there are times that he didn't meet with yet. But for now he knows when Mark is shy, teasing, laughing and serious. For now is the tone when the older is talking seriously. 

 

Jinyoung was forgetting the real reason he was here. The gathering made him forget. They all strangers to him, that he only knows just for a couple of days ago. 

 

Even when he is with Mark at the same place, he somehow finds himself but that won’t change the fact that he was lost. 

 

 

Jackson voice was loud enough to snap him from his thoughts, “yes and told him all of what you told Jaebumie.” 

 

Mark nods, “good. I trust Shonwu.”

 

“We all do hyung. That’s why we are doing that. Jinyoung hyung is one of us now.”

 

Jinyoung heart skipped a beat. Overwhelming, he got with Yugyeom words. He looks at his hands that are shaking a little. ‘one of us now.’ He is being accepted in a life that he had never been a part of. He is thankful enough to let tears slip down from his eyes. 

 

“I…. thank you all.” his voice shaky and he doesn't want to sob but he does, 

 

“easy, Jinyoung-ah. You are a family now.” Youngjae says with a warm smile and even in the middle of this chaos he reply with a smile. Trying to stop his cries. 

 

Mark hand found his, so soft and warm they are. He knows them well. They were his calming companion from that one night. Mark as a whole was and still. Mark holds his hand between his and they stop shaking. Getting close to him, he whispers, 

 

“Stop these cries, _flower._ I really don’t love them.” 

 

_Break. Shatter. Stop. Mend._

 

Mark can do them all. Mark can _breaks_ his bad thoughts and _shatter_ them away. _Stopping_ all the time and _mending_ Jinyoung with his words, his look, his touches. 

 

 

Jinyoung stops, trying to control his breathes, sniffles takes places. Mark straighten his back, returning to his original place. He is looking at the boys. Jinyoung wants him closer but he knows if Mark lingers close to him for a one more second, they would be the teasing material of this night. Add to this, that the boys definitely didn't heard these words. Flower. That would be…. you know.

 

 

Mark hands still on his. He steady his breath again, looking at the boys, “thank you guys really. This means a lot to me.” 

Jinyoung sincerity is shown in his tone, he hopes. 

 

“Ah…. Jinyoung, hyung told me you had a dream. A memory, do you remember anything,” Jinyoung gone stiff hearing Jaebum. Mark must sense it as he tighten his grip on his hands. 

 

“He doesn't want to talk about it just yet, guys,” Mark said and the boys nods, but Jinyoung doesn't want to feel he isn't helping so he looks at Mark, “it's okay hyung. I want you all to know maybe it will help.” 

 

 

Jinyoung didn't want to remember any bad memories but they would help. Mark gave him a look that tells him that the older will be here and won't go anywhere else. 

 

 

Jinyoung sighs, looks at the floor. Focusing on remembering the dream carefully, “ It started with me playing with my brother at our house. I had a brother that is called Jin. Park Jinyoung is my full name. We were raised in orphanage after my mom passed away…” taking a shaky breath in and releasing it out. 

Jinyoung tried to get hold of himself. That dream was like a catalyst to him. It made him remember a lot of things, he couldn't grab, for the first night he met Mark.. 

 

“Jin hyung. My beautiful hyung was always beside me and protecting me. I believe he is the one that save me that night…” Mark looked at him arching an eyebrow. Jinyoung never told him so he explains himself, “before you found me that night. There were two man fighting and someone told me to run. I remember a little about his face but I have a feeling it wan hyung.”

 

His heart tells him so. 

 

 

“also I remember that the orphanage was strict but there were good people there but then one day some people separated me from hyung and hyung was furious about it..” Jinyoung's heart clenched at the memory of his brother face. The boy was broke and Jin shouldn't have suffered like that. 

 

“And My memories stops here. I don’t remember anything after.” Jinyoung sighs helplessly. 

 

Mark fingers caress the back of his hand as soothing action for Jinyoung to calm himself. Jinyoung tries to. 

 

“Maybe he got adopted by someone and his brother didn't and that’s why they get separated.” Jackson said with a frown on his face. The boy is somehow pissed. 

 

“well, we can’t jump to assumptions Jackson. Specially when Jinyoung doesn't remember anything.” Mark says calmly and Jinyoung think how a man can be so calm in this situation. The older is showing some seriousness and careful wisdom in his actions and words. Jinyoung is admiringly liking this. 

 

He will be safe with this man. 

 

 

“We will need to tell Shonwu hyung these information too.” Jaebum says while playing with Youngjae fingers in his hand.  Jinyoung smiles. 

 

“ yes we will.” Mark nods. Unreadable look in his eyes. 

 

“He is coming to meet us tomorrow at the hospital hyung. I forgot to tell you.” Jackson says rubbing the sore spot bambam's head was resting on. 

 

“that would be even better. I need to talk to him.” Mark says. Standing up, leaving Jinyoung hands and Jinyoung doesn't love it. He pouts and Mark gave him a smile that satisfies him. He loves it when Mark’s attention is all given to him. 

 

Just like now. 

That smile with this look, add this delicate pat on his hair. Mark is….. 

 

“Come on. I ha…ve a project to work on.” bambam yawns. He stands up and the other four follow. 

 

“Hyung. You are with us now.” Yugyeom smiles. Jinyoung is blessed. 

 

The warmth and the love he is receiving is overwhelming and he wants to accept it wholly and fully but he will have some of it now. He is not greedy.

 

 

“It’s more like he is with Mark hyung now.” Jaebum smirks, looking at Mark who rubs his face disappointingly. Sighing, “Shut up idiot or I’m telling the guard to not let you step one step inside this building,” Jinyoung is smiling as Jaebum keeps talking while moving to the door, “I told you hyung that I will lead the teasing once you…”

 

“Shut up…” Mark cut Jaebum not letting him completing his words. Confused Jinyoung looks at Mark shocked by the faint pink on the area under his eyes. 

 

Pink as the color of your hair that suited you. Pink as the cherry blossom that were beautiful. Pink as your lips that I want to touch. 

 

He shakes his head, “It’s nothing,” Mark tells him, "Jaebum words are nonsense" and he want to believe but he feels like the opposite. 

 

He really wanted Jaebum to complete his talk. 

 

“Everything is going to be okay, flower.” Mark gives him a determinant look and Jinyoung smiles. 

 

“Yes, hyung. It will.”

 

_It will, with you, here._

 

 

 

°°°

 

 

 

The place felt so quiet after bidding the boys goodbye . They put a life to it but Jinyoung loves this quietness. He loved the boys but this is just like the bed after a tiring day. Mark is. 

 

Laying at the couch. He hears Mark shuffles. He must have finished his path then. He looks over his shoulders to find Mark already looking at him with a towel on his hair. Jinyoung smiles and Mark does too. The older hair is damp. Wet hair Mark is beautiful too. _Again._

 

“You take the bed. The couch isn't comfortable.” Mark says heading to sit at the end of Jinyoung's feet on the couch. 

 

“Oh, It’s okay hyung. I really can sleep here.” surprised Jinyoung was. 

 

“No, flower. With that,” pointing his index finger, back and forth. Mark continues, “ you will hurt your back.”

 

“but where will you sleep then?,” Jinyoung asks sitting straight. 

 

“with you,” Jinyoung body is set on fire and he stiffen. Looking blankly at Mark, the latter scoffed. 

 

“It’s a joke Jinyoung” Mark smiles continue on drying his hair with the forgotten towel again, “we could switch back and forth between here and the bed.”

 

Jinyoung sigh in relief. It’s not like he doesn't want to sleep beside Mark but he just confused of this at the moment. His feelings and his life for now both are messy. 

 

“Thank you, hyung.” he murmured. 

 

Mark stands up and ruffles his hair, “we need to do something about this hair,” smiling warmly, “ not now though, go sleep, flower.”

 

 _Flower. Why flower?_ He wants to ask but he decides the opposite. 

 

 

 

°°°°°

 

 

 

 

Mark sheets smell just like him. Like his clothes; an earthy smell that's just Mark's, some detergent and Mark's perfume. It's just him and that's enough to Jinyoung to feel safe, calm. He hugs the blanket to his chest, both hand are under his chin, he takes another breath and drift to sleep. 

 

“Jinyoung, Jinyoung,” he hears Mark voice. He sits up. 

 

“you were having a bad dream again. You were screaming.” 

 

There were dry tears on his cheek and he feels sweat all over his body. His shaking again and his throat is sore when he tries to speak, “I am okay,” 

 

Mark’s hands hold him still. Supporting him. Mark gives him water. His heart still beating fast and he tries to remember what the dream was about. It’s maybe seconds or minutes or hours passed when he remembers. He can’t time the time, it doesn't matter. What really matters that Mark is still here all the time never letting go. 

 

He remembers, _Jin hyung again.. Oooh._

 

 

“It was the same dream when Jin hyung was screaming,” Jinyoung says and his throat really hurts him now. He is tired and wants to sleep again. 

 

Mark looks at him with concern, “ I wish I could help to hunt these away, flower.” Mark cups his face, thumbs delicately running soothing tides on his cheeks.  

“You already do, hyung.” Jinyoung tries put a smile. But maybe it came out like a thin line. His body wants to rest. 

Mark smiles bitterly, somehow helpless and that breaks Jinyoung's heart,c“not enough though” And Jinyoung wants to tell him no it's more than enough when Mark voice cut him, “You are tired, sleep Jinyoung.” 

 

“You are an _angel,_ hyung.” Jinyoung thinks of that and he isn’t in the right state to control his action so the words just got out of his mouth and he doesn't regret it. Mark is truly an angel. 

 

Mark seems a little surprised but he smiles and smiles and smiles. And Jinyoung smiles too. 

 

 

Jinyoung shuffles till he rest his head on the pillow. He stretched his hand towards Mark, _“stay hyung.”_

 

He wants him to stay. Stay closer. He wants the older to hold him just like His brother was doing whenever he had a bad dream. He is afraid of the response, maybe he is a fool to ask such a thing. Mark has  life and he intrude it like a loud hit in the calm. He is sorry. But Mark never let him has a turmoil in his feelings. It’s like the older is reading him faster than anyone. Maybe faster than himself. 

 

“I’m here.” Mark says, sleeping beside him. Jinyoung moves a little to give him space.

 

 Face to face they are. Mark eyes trained on him. Watching everything even his soul. Jinyoung feels the tension between them but never opening a mouth. The feelings are now weighing lots of tons on Jinyoung heart that keep beating fast crazily. 

Mark’s eyes are affecting Jinyoung in a very bad way. He will explode and he doesn't know why. When Mark looks at his lips, a shiver runs down till the end of his back, shifting to settle deep in his gut. 

 

“Sleep, flower. I will be here.” Mark hand holds one of his hands, while the other resting under his cheek. He smiles and closes his eyes. He should sleep.

 

It won't be good if he doesn't. 

 

 

 

 

°°°

 

 

 

 

Jinyoung wakes up to an empty bed. Mark wasn't there. He must be at work. Jinyoung sigh, stretching his hands behind his head. He slept well. The sun was out already and he felt the warm air filling Mark’s room. 

A shiver runs his body and he sit himself up immediately when he recalled last night events. He told Mark to stay. You god damn idiot. He feels stupid. What will Mark think now? Gosh his heart is going to burst. 

 

He jolts when he hears a phone rings, it was a Mark’s house telephone. Just beside the bed it was. His heart was beating twice faster than ever. He thinks of, if he should answer it or not. He just puts the damn loud thing on his ear. 

 

“flower,”  Jinyoung's heart now is thrice faster. 

 

“Hyung,” a little sleepy, it came out. Mark laughs at him and Jinyoung cursed himself. 

 

“I’m sorry, flower. I woke you up.” Mark says and there is a little guilt on gis voice. Jinyoung wants to wash it away. 

 

“No, hyung. You didn’t.” Jinyoung says quietly. Resting his back at the back of the bed, “I was just a minute awake before your call.”

 

“Oh.. Were you?” pause, “ did you sleep well,” Jinyoung can see Mark teasing face in his mind and he flushes.

 

 “Yes, I did” he replies as if nothing happened.. As if he is not on fire right now. 

 

“Okay then. So, Shonwu is coming today and he just called and told me that he wants to see you. What do you think?”

 

Well, it does makes sense. It will be better if they talk face to face. At least of he can do he would thank the guy. He is a little afraid of the idea he is going outside and meeting other people. But it’s just Mark’s friend and he is the man that working to help him too. And if it Mark is there everything going to be alright. 

 

“Okay hyung. I can do that.” He smiles faintly when he saw a bird flying high, hiding for a mere second the sun’s light; that was falling on his face. 

 

“Okay, flower. I will call Yugyeom to pick you up.” 

 

“Haii, haiii, doctor.” Jinyoung salutes Mark. He is laughing, making Mark laughs too on the other side.

 

“Okay,brat. Get ready” Mark huffs.. 

 

“Oh another nickname,” Jinyoung smiles. 

 

“No. _Flower_ suits you better.” 

 

And with that Mark hangs up the call as well as he hangs up Jinyoung heart and soul. Jinyoung is still flushing. He smiles to the outside world when he looks at the glass that separates him from out. 

 

It’s fascinating how beautiful outside is and how it’s fucked up in the same time. He just sigh, thinking of Mark to have his positive energy levels up. He drags himself to the shower. 

 

 

He borrows Mark’s clothes as usual. He chose a pale jeans and a simple black hoodie. Yugyeom was waiting outside as Mark said. The boy got here fast and he was so thankful for that. He will try to repay them with whatever he will get. 

 

He wants to style his hair but he can’t decide, “Yugyeomie,” He calls wishing the boy could help. 

 

“yes hyung,” yugyeom came running. The boy smiles as soon as he met his face. Coming closer, “so your hair, right?!”, the boy asks. Jinyoung pouts and nods. 

 

“Okay. I can solve that.” Yugyeom is smiling and Jinyoung isn't sure now. 

 

“Yugyeomie, If you did it stupidly, I will let Mark hyung kill you.” he tries to threaten the younger. 

 

“Don't worry, whipped boy.” Yugyeom teased. Jinyoung flushes hard, stuttering,” wa.. what.. do you m-mean?”

 

“You look at him like he’s the brightest star and you want him to just shine for you.” Jinyoung eyes widen, “ we all see how you both look at each other,”

 

“Tha-that's not true,” Jinyoung tries not panicked but he is failing. He huffs, smacks yugyeom’s arm and go away. Ignoring him. 

 

 

 

°°°

 

 

 

 

They Just arrived at the hospital where Mark works. Waiting for yugyeom to get off the car. Jinyoung looks at his reflection on the mirror, he smiled. The boy did a great job. He just cut a little of his hair then he permed his hair a little up. He loves how soft he looks. Wishing that Mark will loves it to, because he feels beautiful. 

 

Yugyeom gets close and ushers to move with him. When he steps inside, his heart beats a little faster but he ignores it. He tries to focus on his footsteps. Following Yugyeom wasn't hard but the feeling that didn't settle down with him, whenever he catches the white coat was the hardest. He was scared to be honest. So he quicken his paces. 

 

 

“Stay here, hyung. I will go find Mark hyung.” Yugyeom points at one of the waiting chairs. Jinyoung's legs feel like they are not in their place so he sits down on the chair to get calm.

 

  _What's wrong with him?_

 

He wants Mark to be here now. His head starts to buzz, hurting him. He holds his head with his hands, hoping the throbs to stop. Looking up, people are walking, doctors too, back and forth. It just…. 

 

 

_Flash… White…_

_‘Stop’…_

_He screams at some doctor. His hands and legs are tied to a bed._

_‘please stop’ , he screams again._

_He looks around he is not the only one. At least five more, are tied the same as him.. He is confused, tears are falling like heavy rain. He sees the doctor put something on the other boy arm and the boy stills, doesn't move again. He's fucking scared to death, he even maybe wet his bed right now._

_The doctor comes to him. He's putting a mask on. Jinyoung can't see his face properly. He is shaking when the man inject him and he fell to slump._

 

 

 

“Jinyoung”.. his head still throbbing. He feels sick. He looks at Mark who is far from calm. Concern and fear fills his features. Jinyoung can tell even when the older is meters away. He saw him walking fast in his white coat. 

 

“H.. Hyu.. Hyung” he tries to control his voice but mouthing the words out  is so hard now. Standing up, stretching hand to Mark, he wants Mark to take it quickly and hold him. He feels powerless. It’s like his soul is going on a walk for now, getting out of his body. He starts to feel dizzy. And he’s going to fall maybe. 

 

“Mah…” he needs Mark. He hears him calling his name again but his vision blurs and his ears ringing and he’s not feeling his legs. His not feeling anything. 

 

He wants to call Mark but he falls. He wants to see Mark but he falls. He wants to touch Mark but he falls. 

 

He wants Mark to tell him everything is going to be okay as always but he _drifts_  and  _falls_ …

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * So guys the comeback is lit. I really loved this color of our boys. The album is so good so let's help our boys and stream the song and the MV. We are very blessed to have them and let's love them even more and this chapter is longer as a sorry for the late update. Fighting ahgase ♥ *


	6. ..

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark is getting worried but fight it and finally describing opia.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for this late update but I had to spend time with my parents here cause they were leaving for another year, ugh. It's a small update thou but I will give you more next as soon as sort everything out. Thanks guys for sticking with me till now.

✯

 

It feels like darkness and cold even when the sun is so up at the sky. The sun lights up the surrounding make it warm and colorful but Mark doesn't relate.. 

 

Seeing Jinyoung in one of hospital beds, laying there without moving. An I.V. is dangling from the metal holder; catching one vein of Jinyoung's beautiful hand, right thereㅡisn't warm at all. Mark has never felt the coldest.

 

_It's colorless and dark._

 

Mark's heart hasn't returned to its normal pace since the moment he caught a lifeless Jinyoung between his arms. The boy face was pale and Mark couldn't figure out the normal way to breathe. 

 

Not when Jinyoung is like that. 

 

The boy was so beautiful with that soft permed hair of him and Mark wanted to tell him that he the most angelic but the boy was out, before he does.

 

He is sitting on a chair holding Jinyoung's hand. Rubbing it as soft as he could. He never felt so helpless as a doctor and he hates it. 

 

 

“Mark…” The sudden call from Jackson, makes him jolts. He looks at his friend who is waiting at the room door. Holding it to his back with one hand. A worried look on his eyes and Mark want to wash it away but he has no power. 

“Yes, Jacks.” with a low voice he says. 

 

He doesn't want to disturb Jinyoung. He lets go of the boy's hand and walks to Jackson. “what's wrong?”

 

“you have a surgery in 20 minutes,” 

 

He looks at his watch and shit how could he be so careless? He doesn't even know if he would be able to operate it or not. He feels so off, but work is work and those are lives, they all try to save with the will of God. 

 

He looks at Jackson, “I'm sorry Jacks. I nearly forgot. Thanks for reminding me.” 

 

“To be honest, I came here to check on you and tells you that I would do it for you. I have nothing to do except for regular checks and Jaebum and Youngjae will do it for me. So I am doing it.”

 

Mark has been always thankful for these idiots. They knew the right time to offer a hand and when the right time to just back off. Now, they do it again, making Mark's heart grows love for them more. 

 

He looks at Jackson with a look for of appreciation and gratitude and the boy smiles back. Moving to get out, “Just….we want dinner. Like all the five of us when Jinyoung wakes up and one more thing, Shownu hyung had an important meeting so he needed to go. He will call you.”

 

Jackson laughs then give Mark a last look, “you look awful. You don't want your boy to wake up and see you like that. You will do nothing good. You will just worry him more.” 

 

Mark sigh with a tired nod. Jackson gives him the softest smile and leaves him there alone. It's rare from Jackson when he sees him like that. All serious and stuff and Mark laughs. He always do when Jackson became like that. 

 

*

 

It's been two full hours and he needs a break. His back and his butt are screaming to be moved. He stands up from his position and stretch his bones. He looks at Jinyoung and smile at how peaceful the boy is. He face is slightly gaining his colors and….. 

 

Jinyoung eyelids are opening up a bitㅡgradually. Still heavy and the boy struggles to crack them open. He shifts and moves a little and in second Mark was beside him. 

 

“I'm right here, _flower._ ” Immediately Mark takes his hand again. 

 

“hmmm… h.. hyun-”, Jinyoung couldn't complete his words, whining from his bones’ ache and gives Mark a tired look. 

 

“shhhhh… Flower, don't tire yourself out.” Mark grabs a glass of water and tries to give Jinyoung a little of it. He supports the boy back and pull him up a little. Bringing the glass to his mouth and trying to make it less painful for the boy to drink. 

 

Mark puts the glass back again to its previous position and looks at Jinyoung who now holds Mark's hand so tightly as a lifesaver. Mark returns the grip slightly to remind the boy that he will always be here. 

 

“I’m right here, here, flower.” Mark pushes the boy's fringe back and wipes his sweat with a tissue. 

 

Jinyoung closes his eyes. Humming, content and satisfied with the little relief. He looks at Mark again and there is a growing frown between his eyes, “hyung. I'm okay.” his voice is barely here. Tired.

 

But Mark knew that he looks disheveled and tired so the boy tries to reassure him. He’s always been fond of the boy, caring for others when the one that should be taken care of, is him. 

 

“Yes, you are flower. You are okay and I will be here to make sure you are.” 

 

Mark smiled, getting closer the boy, kissing his forehead. Jinyoung's hand came to hold the hem of his coat. Mark smiles again at Jinyoung and the latter returns the smile with a softer one.

 

“I'm going to sleep a little, okay hyung?”

 

“sure flower.”

 

“you will be okay hyung?!” It came as a question but Mark doesn't know how to respond. If he will be okay or not but as long the boy is okay, he will be. So he smiles and nods. 

 

Jinyoung drifts to sleep with the heavy eyelids of him. He holds Mark's hand and Mark pats his hair delicately to help him sleep fast. 

 

 

*

 

 

“I needed that coffee.” Mark sipped the dark brown hot drink, sighing at the feeling when it hits his taste buds. He just loves coffee. He was sitting with Jaebum on one of the waiting desks across Jinyoung's room. 

 

Mark rested the back of head on the wall behind him. Sinking his straight back down a little. He never stops thinking about the younger boy and what the hell he had been through to be like that. 

 

Jinyoung was tired mentally for bringing all of these forgotten memories up the past days. Today was bad. It's always bad but today is a little more. What could have happened to affect the boy like that? 

 

If he just know… If he just know how to help! 

 

He feels powerless. He wants to fire away all of Jinyoung's past if it was bad. He wants to shatter them all because he sees what they do to the boy. But he has no idea how to do it or what the hell are they?!

 

He curses his weaknesses. Saving lives always made him alive but does this all matter when he can't save the boy he cares about a lot right now? 

 

He shakes his head a little, hoping these thoughts would fall of his head to one of these the darkest holes. 

 

"You look far worse than Jackson described, Mark." he couldn't look at Jb but he shuts his eyes listening as he slumped further in the chair.

 

"even coffee can't get a hold of you right now hyung," His friend snorted and he forces a smile looking at a worried-eyed Jb.

 

He felt sorry for worrying his friend like that but he just can't get a hold of his thoughts and that's making him angry.

 

"I'm sorry," he says, throwing away the empty cup in a pin next to them. 

 

His hands are intertwined; settle in the empty gap between his thighs. He tries to focus his whole on one thing but it's like a _chaos_ up there in his brain. A _marathon_ where every person takes a different path from the other; each thought of his does runs wild everywhere and he can't hold any-find any.

 

"what are you sorry for?" he looks at his friend again and the boy is putting a smile. " It must be hard on you too like how exactly it's hard on him." Jb rocks his head to the room's door where Jinyoung's sleeping.   
The boy looks at him and open his mouth again before Mark says anything,"If that was Youngjae I would be furious, hyung."

 

But that's the thing, _why..!!_  
Just _why ...?_

 

He feels a frown's formed between his eyebrows and Jb must have seen it 'cause the boy is laughing. "You really love him, hyung." a hand came to pat Mark's thigh.

 

"I would say It's soon but you do and that's why you are covered with concern, worry and anger. All of that consume you because you can't help. You don't know how."

 

Im Jaebum always reads him. He swears that the boy can see through him. He sighs at the boy's words, 'cause they are damn true. He rubs his eyes with the end of his palm,  
"I feel powerless Jaebuma. I really...really like him. _No....fuck,_ I love him Jaebum and I'm dying."

Mark feels like he's suffocated by the air around him but he takes a sharp intake of it anyway, "it's killin' me inside. I want him so badly but I'm afraid that would hurt him even more."

 

Mark thinks of Jinyoung's smiles and laughs. Jinyoung's touches. Jinyoung's cries and screams. 

 

He straighten his back, looking at his friend, "I just want him to have his life back and then have mine too. I know I'm asking for too much from a very stranger boy I just know a week ago but it wasn't like that with Hyuk or anyone else and it drives me crazy Jaebum that I don't feel like I can control it." 

 

It really confuses him how a heart and a mind of one person get so attached to anyone from a first meeting. This universe plays it in its ambiguous way. A way might or mightn't be known. So he doesn't want to drift with the moving current. Instead, he wants to choose to drift with it; all by his _will_ -his choice.

 

"Do you think I've gone insane?" He asks his friend and if it was another time he would laugh very loud when he voices such words but the irony of the situation has another path. So his friend laughs for him, "yes, you've gone insane after saying that." 

 

He looks at Jaebum, the boy tries to hold down his laughs, "Hyung, you are just in love and being in love means that you will always do that," Jb has his hand up and facing Mark as he about to count his upcoming words on his fingers," _care ... worry ... protect ... gives all ... feels all ... wants all_ ... you would be confused and I believe you are very....very confused right now,"

 

Mark groans; producing a sound like a wounded animal. He does feel wounded by the idea that he can't give the boy his all right now. But...but maybe now is the very right time to give him his all. He could see that Jinyoung feels safe around him. He could feel it. Maybe also his heart keeps telling him that the boy would never let him down if he tries to.

 

"Can't you see that he really into you, hyung! You love him but you are scared that he might get hurt more than he's already. Also you are angry that you can't get him his life but it's not that easy. Even Jinyoung knows that. You are strong and whatever Jinyoung life was, make sure to be prepared to it. Because I think he will need you there with him." Jb smiles at a nurse that was passing in front of them and Mark also return the smile to her too.

 

The boy faced him again, continuing what he was saying,"I believe he finds you a source of strength and you are. You _always_ were; to me to all of us and now to him." 

 

The serious gaze of Jaebum is always what grounds Mark and brings him to his senses. That reminds him of who he really is and who are they to him. Of what he do to him and what they do to him. Of all the times that he and his friends support each other at.

 

He remembers every time - any of them would come and asks for his advice. It wasn't that far when he remembers his take with their youngest and how he trusted to come to only him. The past couple of days he tried to be there for Jinyoung, even though he was scared for him. But he would wash away all of that whenever the boy puts his warmest smile to him.

 

 _But,_  
all of the fears crept out today when he saw Jinyoung thrown between his arms.

 

He knows himself so well to tell why all of this happened but it's Mark fault whenever he feels hopeless. All of the bad of him eats him; guilt and fear. So he shakes his head, takes a deep breath, sorting and collecting his mind. 

 

He knows if he wants to protect so he should not fear himself.  
If he wants to protect he should fight.   
If he wants to protect he should be _the Mark_ that has always been there with his friend. The same Mark that loves and cares.

 

''You are my source of strength, Jaebuma." He finally speaks. Cutting the silence between them and Jaebum smiles, " as I'm to you. You are to me hyung."

 

His friend's words give him tranquility, make his heart calm and also it puts a smile on his face.

 

"I believe Jacks told you that you owe us a dinner," He smiles nodding and Jaebum smirks putting unsettling feeling in Mark's chest, "add the desserts and the drinks now hyung." The boy waggle his brows and that earns a loud laugh from Mark, "okay idiot." He murmured in approval. He has no power to say no at this. It's the least he can give them. Seriously, Mark would do anything for his friends. They are his precious solace.

 

Jaebum bid him goodbye and he moves to where Jinyoung's. He stops and takes a long breath. He is strong. He will be for him and the boy. He patted his chest; the skin above his heart assuring himself that he would never be weak again, afraid or scared He would never let the bad of his thoughts creeps him or win over the person he is. And if they did he has Jaebum and his friends to support him. He also had Jinyoung;the boy he wants to protect and love and be with. He has himself-Mark- the friend of them all.

 

Finally with a calm mind, he opens the door to be met by a beautiful sitting Jinyoung. The boy seems to not feel him when he enters. He is looking at the window; the view is beautiful as Jinyoung's side profile and sharp yet soft jaw. The boy just grows more and more beautiful every passing time Mark sees him. He radiates and fills Mark's heart with with more and more fondness and love. 

 

Mark just stands there looking at Jinyoung; takes all of him. It's like he's painting a _canvas_ where Jinyoung looking at the sunset. The sky is painted red blends with orange. Naturally breath-taking. 

 

The _serenity_ of the moment could bring the best of anyone. It could paint the world green and the idea warms Mark's heart. And the time he's just shared with Jaebum and all the shared fears just gone with the sunset- just like that. Jinyoung's capable of doing this, bringing the best of him.

 

He heads to the boy sitting beside him. Jinyoung must sense the sink of the mattress and faces him _aaaaand.....that's it_. That's the _smile_ Mark thinks he can't live a day without. The smile that Mark fell in love with its owner. Strange, it is. Strange, how a smile does that. Indeed it's Jinyoung's.

 

"Hey, you're awake." Mark pushes Jinyoung's hair from his eyes. _Soft, beautiful._

 

Mark doesn't want to move his hand so he traces the boy skin with his finger. Playing with Jinyoung's eyebrow with his index. The boy closes his eyes, leans to the touch. Mark thinks he's a baby. He moved his hand till it rest to the boy's cheek; caressing it.

 

"Yes, hyung. I'm here." Jinyoung brings his hand to Mark's. Holding it to his cheek. The act made Mark smile more. 

 

" You will always be here, flower," Mark says with a serious gaze on Jinyoung, "with me." Mark wanted to remind Jinyoung by all love he has for him. The closeness to him, will always be here and also makes him forget a little what happened today.

Whenever Mark's with the younger, his mind get pre-occupied by the younger; him and only him. The mutuality of feelings. The understanding and the responses; the younger produces. It's like Jinyoung is his sensitive and intellectual _half_ \- the one that needs no words to understand each other but just the small of touches and looks.

 

"Do you now what _Opia_ means, darling?" He asked and Jinyoung shakes his head but smiles at the new nickname. Mark heart flips, the nickname just slipped out but he continue anyway. "It means the ambiguous intensity of an eye contact."

 

Mark scrunches his face at the 'o' mouth-shaped Jinyoung did. And Mark wanted to let him know all of this so he carries on, taking the boy's face in his hands, thanking Jinyoung for accepting it with that lean of him as always. "I feel like you does feel it too. The understanding of the unsaid words between us two.The familiar feelings whenever our eyes meet and the warm envelope of every eye contact between us," he stops taking of Jinyoung to see if the boy isn't comfortable with what he's saying or not. 

 

The fear is all gone, replaced by the beautiful touch of skin; Jinyoung's, under his fingers. The clench of the boy's hand of his coat-the one forgotten on his clothes. The look that Jinyoung keeps on him to remind Mark that he knows, feels, understand.

 

So he beg for more with his words, "do you feel me, flower?" and Jinyoung nods like a doll. A perfect doll. And if Mark wasn't in a hospital, he would scream loud to free all of his trapped feelings but he decided to do better.

 

He leans to get closer to Jinyoung and kisses him; just a brush of a touch. Lips on lips. He hopes he didn't scare the boy with the sudden move. So he looks at Jinyoung, and the boy looks at him with not with a closed eyes but a droopy one from the sensation of their touches. Flawless color of rose hugging the boy's cheeks. God, Jinyoung is beautiful and Mark leans again.

 

Spilling all of his feelings and all the trapped emotions in another kiss. The response was as warm as Jinyoung. He tugs in capturing Jinyoung's lips more in devotion and Jinyoung pouts, allowing him to takes his lips fully. To plays around in a complete sync.

 

He pulls to catch his breath. He doesn't know if it was because of the lack of oxygen or of the overwhelming feeling of finally having Jinyoung. He looks at Jinyoung and smiles when the boy kiss him briefly, nuzzling his nose on his lips.

 

Mark wants to _scream_ \- scream with all of this love.

 

His heart is already bounding so- so hard that he thinks that it's going to escape from his chest. Jinyoung's breath is burning his face-skin and Mark sinks in Jinyoung. He kisses his eyes, his small nose, his tainted-pink cheeks. He stops to take a last look at the boy, still doesn't believe the moment.

 

_If it's a dream, he doesn't want to wake up from.  
If it's reality, he wants to stop time and replay this on and on again._

 

"Hyung," and Jinyoung's voice is the most honeyed-voice.

 

"Yes, flower.'' He feels like he's fighting with his chords to voice it out. The feeling is just......too - too much in his heart.

 

"I think I love you..." It feels like Jinyoung is having the time with that words too. Mark can hear his heart beats increasing just as his. 

 

The power of words is just another thing. If it always feels like that, he would want to hear it forever. Jinyoung's words - that's enough for him.

 

"I think I love you too, flower." Mark didn't want to take time to reply the boy. The boy that had and still has and will have all of him. 

 

He looks at Jinyoung to get hit by glowing eyes of the boy and they only look at him; like he's the only one he needs in this world. Mark's heart seriously is going to explode.

 

"ah Jinyoung," he breathes words, maybe to _ease_ the pressure he feels on his heart or the big weight of all of these feelings. Again he's taking the boy's lips between his. Now, it's deep. Full of the said and all unsaid. 

 

Jinyoung's hands found their place; wrapped around Mark's neck. Leaning more to the touch Mark brought a hand to the younger's waist, holding him close as he doesn't want to lose him while his other hand is still on the boy's cheeks ..... and, Jinyoung is warm. His lips are, his touch is. 

 

So he tugs more catching the younger's lower lips in his, earning a soft moan from the boy's mouth. It brought a warm sensation in his gut. He could feel the boy's shiver and that burns him. Mark's breath hitched and he groans when Jinyoung's tongue touches his. And everything came upside down but kept him balanced at the same time.

 

They both pulled for air this time. Silence except for the harsh intakes of air. The warmness that envelopes them both. He feels it and he knows that Jinyoung feels it too.

 

"God I love you Jinyoung." He hugs the boy who in return does the same. 

 

"You are indeed a flower, Jinyoung. Your smell..." Mark smiles rubbing his cheek in the boy's hair and Jinyoung whines laughing, " your taste too," he kisses the boy's neck and hears the boy's breath stops for a second. So he moves to look at the boy again, "every thing is delicate as a flower, _flower._ " Mark kisses under the younger's mouth.

 

"Oh hyung." The boy takes Mark's face in his hands too, cupping it. Mark loves it. He sees Jinyoung leans- kissing his eyes when he closes them foe the boy, " I love all of you too hyung," The boy smiles, kissing his cheeks after and Mark's heart never stops the wild attacks to his chest. Mark just loves and loves and _loves_.

 

"I tried to hold myself. For me; your care for the lost boy you found was enough, all the protection too but I was greedy. I am greedy. I wanted all of you, hyung." He kisses Mark's lips and the older let out a breath. " and I want ..... _more, ......and more....... and more....... and more_......." Jinyoung keeps kissing Mark; little pecks between each word.

 

"Give me more, _my beautiful hyung_." He says and that was enough for Mark to give him all what he wants with another lean to the younger face. More than willing to devour all of this moment.

 

'Oh this is how it _feels_ to have Jinyoung.' he thinks,

and he wonders,

'How would it be to have _more_?'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh guys, My heart kept pounding whenever there's MarkJin time. I hate how I love them so much. I love you all too.  
> Leaves comments and tell me what do you think, guys.  
> Thank you again♥  
> Support GOT7 till the end.


	7. ..

It's fascinating to see colors in a place like hospital. For the first thought we think or the first look we take, we only think of _white_.

 

The color that blends so well with the word.

 

But actually if we took a good look, we would see other colors too. Even if they are faint, but they exist. They add a touch of - somehow- good change to the atmosphere.

 

At least that what Jinyoung _feels_.

 

He is on the cafeteria, mostly white but there is a faint blue and dusky grey colorㅡall together are beautiful. The scene simply puts a smile on his lips.

 

 

He was waiting for Mark on a table beside a glass wall, taking all of the green and the colorfully different flowers at the hospital yards. Nurses with patients and doctors walking there. Making it more alive than it is.

 

The cafeteria was busy too. Amass with doctors and nurses having their first pit of energy to keep the everyday routine.

 

It's his first here.

 

 

His mind begins to repeat yesterday's events. It was a wild day from the very first minute, he put a leg on this place to the moment he was kissing a special black-haired doctor.

 

He smiles , leaning to put his head on one of his stretched hands on the table. He is looking outside but not really paying attention to it.

 

The feeling of the kissㅡkisses with Mark yesterday, still envelopes his heart with exquisite warmth and consumes his mind with more admiration of the man.

 

The feeling of Mark’s closeness, nowㅡ in more _personal aspect_ ㅡ is truly brings relief to the boy. He feels like he's will not be alone when he faces his worries. Just call it ease, comfort, relief or even repose; Mark brings this all with the mere existence of him beside a particular Jinyoung.

 

He just glad he has Mark in a _special_ way.

 

 

“Flower, I got us the food.” Mark's voice was his call to sit straight on his chair.

 

Looking at the boy, he is still glowing with the mere reflection of the sunlight on the place. No. Mark is brighter than these yellow lights. Mark is quite dazzling.

 

Kill Jinyoung- _he is in love with an angel._

 

The angel in white coat with a tray of food to both of them. Jinyoung feels blessed..

 

Mark puts the food down, on the table. Two bowls of yogurt with small cubed  fruits. Jinyoung can see apple, banana and strawberries. Also two glasses of orange juice.

 

Jinyoung arches an eyebrow, with a small smirk. He look at Mark, “no coffee. Who are you? Where is Mark?”

 

“Ha ha. Soooo funny. Eat brat.” Mark couldn't hide the small when he hears the giggles from Jinyoung.

 

The boy sat across him, now moving one of the bowls to be in front of Jinyoung. He warms Jinyoung's heart with a smiles and the boy thanks him.

 

“You look better today, flower. That's good.” Mark says before he takes a bite of his food..

 

Jinyoung feels better yes. A little fresh to and clean. He's thankful that Mark had spare clothes here, that he had changed into.

 

“Yes, hyung. Thanks to you. I’m sorry for worrying you.”

 

“It's okay, Jinyoungiee.” Mark smiles, eyes full now light brown whenever they catch the reflected sun-rays from outside. _So beautiful._

 

“Shownu hyung is on the way to meet us here. Are you okay with that? More prepared, huh?” Mark asks nervously.

 

Jinyoung can't calm his mind and heart at the idea from yesterday. He was laying with Mark after the little confession of them, when a call from the man that he will meet them today. He was little nervous but Mark calmed him with his touches, words and maybe his kisses too. He felt a little shy at how he enjoyed every one of them.

 

“Maybe I'm little nervous, you know…” he finally speaks, pausing, taking a sip of his drink…. “but overall I'm okay, hyung and you will be here,” he reach to take Mark's hand in his, “ with me.”

 

“Always, _flower_.” Mark brings his hand to his lips and put a little kiss over them and Jinyoung feels hot all over his face.

 

These little acts of Mark, those little touches, puts him in a very calm mood. How can this man in front of him be his pillar?

 

How odd to have such a bond with someone!

 

He smiles at Mark who hasn't let go of his hand. He resumed to eat when the boy did that too.

 

 

After finishing eating, Mark brought his chair to sit next to him. They are waiting for Shonwu hyung, both admiring the chaos in the silence.

 

Mark's holding one of his hands and resting it to his thigh. So close. Jinyoung is a total mess inside, but he tries not to show it.

 

“Flower,” The nickname never fails to bring a smile to his face. He faces the boy who's looking at him, with eyes full of emotions puts Jinyoung to an edge. He wants to reach and touch more but… “yes hyung.” he just replies.

 

Mark caress his hand with his thumb making Jinyoung gives him all of his attention. He doesn't care if he's a love-struck person but How he wouldn't be with Mark besides him?

 

“I love you.” Mark says and Jinyoung is taking by surprise, widening his eyes..

 

He feels the blush on his face creeps out. His rib-cage will explode from the sudden increase of his heart beats. He couldn't comprehend what he should do. He tries to grasp mentally the right words but…

 

Mark is laughing, “God, you look cute like this,”

 

“Hyuuung~” he whines, more shy than he already is, “It's just… you took me by surprise.” he suppressed a sigh.

 

The feeling of hearing the words again is just a lot. It's like he's hearing them for the first time. He feels like he could listen to Mark saying that again and again forever but he will still be puzzled in how to react to them in every time.

 

He would still be _freaking_ over and over.

 

“I love you too, hyung.” Jinyoung is smiling at how Mark reacts. The boy's cheeks plays with the shades of pink. Maybe he didn't expect Jinyoung to say it back. Jinyoung smiles at this little victory.

 

Both of them idiots in love, gettin’ flustered with these words.

 

“I should thank you for taking me with you that night. I thought I would never be safe but you took me, held me, took care of me and loved me. How can't I fall for you?”

 

He wants to let Mark know how much he is thankful for the little things he did and still do to him. He hopes his words convey what his heart carries. He wants to tell Mark all with every single cell of his body. With all of him.

 

He leans forward to get close to Mark face, look him in the eyes, “how can't I? Huh?” he repeats with a lift of his two eyebrows, he kisses his cheek once. “I couldn't. I can't and I won't.”

 

Everything the man does makes him fall more. Slowly and delicately, taking all of what he can take of the older whom in return gives him no chance to do less of than.

 

He gets a very satisfying reply when Mark tugs him for a hug ㅡ hands never stop their rooming -in every way possible- to bring him comfort.

 

The _smile_ never dies with Mark.

 

 

-

 

 

Even with having a good sleep yesterday, Jinyoung eyelids are protesting for more; getting heavy. The breakfast was good and he is laying at the same bed he was tugged in with a beautiful boy the night before. He tries to fight it.

 

Mark decided that they should wait for Shownu hyung hereㅡto have some privacy. Mark's just left to get some coffee for himself.

 

Jinyoung eyes dart to the door when there was a sudden knock. “Hey,” nothing but Youngjae's head was popped between the door and the wall.

 

The boy’s giving him the smile that lights up his face with that parted hair of him. Oh the boy literally is a sunshine. Jinyoung thinks that the boy's eyes are charming as it calms him always. That smile of the doctor, has a great effect on him even when the first time they met at Marks. His eyes gives him a feeling like he is home. He is no stranger-never was one. The feeling like he is a part of a _family_.

 

Odd it is.

 

“May I come in?” the boy asks after a while.

 

“Of course. Come. “Jinyoung waves him to enter and the boy gladly takes the invitation.

 

Jinyoung observes Youngjae till the boy sits beside him on the bed. The smile never left. Jinyoung thinks that patients will recover faster whenever such a man with this smile checks on them.

 

“How are you doing?”  the question came so easy. Like a tone of an _old friend_.

 

“I'm good. Mark makes sure I'm.” Jinyoung smiles when Youngjae laughs.

 

“He's giving you no other choice, right?”

 

“No.” Jinyoung replies.

 

Mark is worried and he tries not to show it. Jinyoung knows. Mark is trying his best to not make him remember the unfortunate memories that made him collapsed and he knows it. Mark gives him all the attention and care and he's trying to do the same thing to him.

 

Holding on to someone, never been a thought from the moment he left his brother. But, Mark was his first pillar. The one he would trust forever. The man became his strength in no time. It's like he's been there all the time.

 

‘He's also still there every passing second too.’ Jinyoung mind reminds him that and he's thankful for the one he happens to have his heart.

 

 

“Would I lie if I say right now, he's my everything?” Jinyoung asks. Youngjae shakes his head, “no, why would you lie?!”

 

“It's just he is the only thing I'm sure about right now, Youngjae.”

 

Jinyoung doesn't know from where he gets all  of this courage and guts to talk so freely but It is just Youngjae thing. He makes him feel at ease. Again like a close friend.

 

Jinyoung startled when the boy hold his hand, squeezing it. “I believe that he's a very capable person, you can trust that and I know you do. I'm not saying that because he's my hyung but.. “, Youngjae locks eye with him, “but, hyung cares about you.”

 

Jinyoung nods which in return there is a smile on Youngjae's face. “I know and I'm thankful.”

 

Jinyoung always thinks of what would happen of it wasn't Mark that he met that night and that would scare him. He doesn't want to imagine that all. The mere possibility of this is terrifying.

 

“I know, youngjae.” He repeats.

 

“So don't worry.” Youngjae pats his hair. “You don't have just hyung now. You have me too. You have all of us.” The boy winks and Jinyoung laughs.

 

The familiarity, the boy puts whenever he wants to, reassures Jinyoung. He will never be alone from now on. Mark is enough to him, but he can't help the warmth that creeps to his heart with each of Youngjae's words. He's so lucky that whomever related to Mark is kind just like him.

 

“Thank you….” Jinyoung gives a tug to Youngjae's hand that holds his… “really.” He finishes with a smile, hoping it does shows how grateful he is.

 

Youngjae replies warmly, “It's okay, we will always be here.”

 

 

-

 

 

Well built body, sharp face features and serious look, that what Shonwu is from the first look. But when he smiles all that disappears under the shut of his smiling eyes and the soft his face gets.

 

Even with Youngjae assumptions to ease the tension that surrounded him upon hearing that Shonwu hyung has come wasn't completely doing the job. Jinyoung's heart was still scared. But Mark was beside him so he tries to appear calm as he can.

 

Jaebum, Jackson and Youngjae too were there sitting, concerned and worried but they tried to not show it to Jinyoung and the latter feel it but he appreciates the effort they do for him.

 

It's weird to him how they could have liked him and tries to support him. But then he remembers Mark and what he had done to him until their last moment and how he loved him. The flood of emotions and feelings is bizarre but it does feel rightㅡso right because he feels happy among the unfamiliarity. Steady among the chaos.

 

They do make him feel like better himself.

 

 

He steal a look to Mark only to see that the latter looking at him too. Maybe it's what Mark really is, that makes Jinyoung wants to face the whole world and he would know that he'd be the winner, just because Mark is here- _with him_.

 

Eyes can be weapons, sometimes. A one that kill or one that revive. Mark’s will always be his way to survive. To take a step forward and never look back. Mark's eyes will always make sure he won't stumble or stuck on the road.

 

Yes; Mark's eyes are that _powerful._

 

 

A minute they hold their gazes to each other. Shutting all the surrounding even if he feels the intense looks their friends have on them. Mark nods to him and he knows it's the time to finally grasp a tiny hand on what's happening. He shuddered at the idea. Heart races but is never normal.

 

He looks at Shonwu hyung finally, “I believe Mark told you everything I wanted to say…”, Mark's hand squeezed his informing him that he's here. Jinyoung continues, “It’s still all bizarre but I think it all started with the orphanage.”

 

He believes that this place had something makes him feel uncomfortable, unsettling feeling in his heart. He can sense something fishy about the place.

 

“I thought of that too, to be honest. I still has my investigations running about the one who ran and still runs it. And also about who the people who adopted you back then.” Shonwu stated and Jinyoung feels his determination on helping him.

 

“Also I need you to tell me about yesterday too if it's not a bother to you. It's okay I can wait.”

 

Jinyoung smiles as Shonwu is doing his job but still gives him his time but no, Jinyoung needs to get out of this circle. The circle of the unknown; he's sinking in. So he shakes his head, “No hyung, I want to tell you. It could give us a hint of what's happening or what happened also.”

 

So he tells them about the memory. About the doctor and the injection and even if he felt suffocate by his words, there'd be Mark's hand pat on his back to steady him or the little grip on his shoulder to remind him of what he got.

 

He got _Mark_ and the _others._

 

“Oh that would be a real help. Thank you Jinyoung.” Shonwu writes something down on his note and puts it back on his pocket. And shift to sit comfortably on his seat.

 

“That could be some illegal work here, hyung.” Mark voice was clearly showing the possibility of this thought. It makes a sense too.

 

Shonwu replies, “It should be some illegal shit. God knows what is it but I'm doing my best to try and figure anything.” He takes a moment pausing then, “Jin; Jinyoung's older brother must have known something that's why as Jinyoung said- helped him out of the place.”

 

Jinyoung's heart clench of the name of his brother. He wants to make sure he's alright. Nothing bad happened to him too. He hopes they got a way to communicate and he would feel all good but he has no idea how.

 

Mark pats his hair like he feels what Jinyoung's thinking of. As he tries to erase the discomfort that pop up when his brother's been mentioned. He looks at Mark and the latter moves his lips for only Jinyoung to see and he comprehend what Mark want to say.

 

_It's okay. Everything is gonna be okay._

 

He hopes.

 

 

“But how illegal? What kind of work?” Jackson who was sitting on the arm of the couch - Jaebum and Youngjae are currently occupying it’ cause it barely fit two- asked.

 

“We still don't know that but we put our hands on the first thread to the truth….” Shonwu says with an index finger rubbing his chin. Jinyoung noticed and maybe it's a habit; the older does whenever he thinks of something, just like now.

 

“It must be something related to taking children and use them, but for what reason, that's what we wants to know.” Jaebum said to earn a nod from all of them.

 

“ Don't worry Jinyoung. We're getting closer but you will always find us sticking with you till the end.” With a cheerful tone Youngjae smiles to Jinyoung.

 

Mark in return nods and takes intertwine their hands within a tight grip also.

 

 _Definitely, I'm hereㅡalways_. Mark says without words.

 

Jinyoung knows it - feels it.

 

 

 

-

 

 

A week has passed after the meeting  with Shonwu hyung. That night Mark took him finally home. But he felt like walking so they walked around to ease the crumbling feelings that been built up also he find it a chance to be a time together.

 

“The night’s still young, flower.” Mark said looking at the sky.

 

Indeed it was. The sun just set two hours ago and the fresh air is a blessing to his system. Mark beside him is enough to make him feel like everything is going to be okay, but still he wants to make sure so he looks at Mark and asks, “everything is going to be alright hyung, right?”

 

Mark's reply was a simple smile -the warm one- with a little nod and a thumb running and playing the little comfort game with Jinyoung's thumb while intertwining their hands.

 

That's was _enough._

 

Enough to let Jinyoung doesn't think of anything but this moment of content. Just to think Mark's words. The one whom he believes in…

 

 

°°°

 

The week passed after this night without having much time with Mark. That wasn't pleasant at all. The older has shifts that almost all day. Jinyoung doesn't see him a lot and if he does the older just super tired that makes Jinyoung realize how being a doctor is so tiring.

 

He missed Mark but he can't tell. He doesn't want to put any other weight on Mark's shoulder. But he just misses him.

 

The days pass with him and Yugyeom talking and playing around all the time. He has a thing for the younger. He loves him so much and Yugyeom always tries to clear his thoughts from the worries and the questioning he has.

 

Yugyeom shows him his dance and takes him out most of the time. Mark always calls him and makes sure he is okay but he wants him in flesh too and the memory of their kiss doesn't make it any easier.

 

But he will wait. He wants to ‘cause he knows Mark would do if he was in his place and also’ cause he knows how much he means to the older and how much he loves him.

 

Youngjae also visited him like twice talking about everything. Warming the atmosphere with his little giggle and loud laughs. Jinyoung has been showered with love and care the past week from his friends. He thinks he's the luckiest..

 

 

He's just showered and went to lay on the couch. With a sigh, he straighten his back and closes his eyes. Feels tired, Yugyeom had taken him all day to the studio where he practices and tire him out.

 

Dancing together and fooling around. Jinyoung's cheeks still hurt him from all the laughing. He smiles remembering Yugyeom tripping and falling on his butt and how the boy whines like a baby.

 

“Why are you smiling like that, _flower?_ ” Jinyoung jolts when he hears Mark.

 

He didn't hear him coming. The boy smiles at Jinyoung. Amused with the idea he startled the younger. “Is it me?” Mark asks and Jinyoung arches an eyebrow, confused.

 

“The reason that you were smiling?” Mark explained when he sits next to him.

 

Jinyoung looks at him and Mark looks tired but still beautiful, “no. It was Yugyeomie.”

 

“Oh. Wanna tell me?” Mark was eager to know and Jinyoung smiles and decided to tell him and wins a little laugh from Mark. “That big baby.” Mark commented.

 

“I miss you, flower.” Mark says after taking Jinyoung by surprise. “I know I've been busy but I'm sorry…” there was a sad look on Mark's eyes and Jinyoung wanted to tell him that's okay and he knows but Mark kept talking, “sorry for not being here or if I did made you feel like you're left out but believe me when I say I've missed you every passing moment.”

 

Jinyoung knows. “I know, hyung. I've missed you too…” he takes Mark's hand and push the older hair from his eyes. “you never leave me alone, hyung. Even when you are busy you'd call me everyday and text me too….” Jinyoung was touched by the older action and never felt like he was forgotten or something like that so he smiles… “You were always here. You are still here like you always tell.”

 

Mark smile is enough to tell that he's glad that Jinyoung understands. Mark's hug is enough to tell how he is thankful and grateful for having Jinyoung.

 

“You must be tired…” Jinyoung mumbles through the hug, doesn't pull back yet tighten when Mark's huffs his words, “ dead tired.”

 

“Do you want me to make you something to eat while you have a shower?” He asks as he wants to help Mark by any way.

 

Mark pull back from the hug, “I will just shower then rest. I don't want to eat.” he answers.

 

“Are you sure, hyung?”

 

Mark kisses his cheek. “Yes flower.” he answers. Standing and heading to the bathroom.

 

“Okay, my beautiful hyung.” With enough loud voice Jinyoung says to Make sure Mark hears. He smiles when he gets his reply, “Jinyoungiee, you are the beautiful one.”

 

Mark's laugh echoes through the place, warming it and pulling Jinyoung to his serenity.

 

 

Mark's come in a fresh clothes. Smelling like flowers as usual. The smell that lull Jinyoung to the best momentsㅡthe brightest.

 

He hasn't moved an inch from his position-just sitting on the couch. Mark came to sit across him, on the coffee table. His thighs between Mark's and the warmth is addicting; just as the smile that dance on the older face, illuminating each feature in a beautiful way.

 

“It feel like ages since I've touched you…”  Mark fingers traces Jinyoung face and It would be a lie if Jinyoung doesn't love it. He does and wants more. Mark continues talking, “since I've seen you this close, flower.”

 

It's often he's asleep whenever Mark’s come or he leave early before he's awake. “Me too, Mark…” he exhale a sigh when Mark's index finger runs on his lower lip then settle on his upper, his breath hitched. “Oh I didn't notice this beauty mark before.” Mark says looking at Jinyoung lips and the younger feels the first waves of the sea of embarrassment hits his cheeks.

 

His moles were part of him. The that Mark was talking about was on Jinyoung's upper lip. There is another one on his jaw line and a one on the juncture between his neck and shoulder. This is Mark's first time mentioning this and that makes Jinyoung shy.

 

Mark kept tracing his lip with his index. Then taking Jinyoung's chin between his finger and titling his face right and lift so he can observe it better.

 

“Oh, I know that one here….” finger on his jaw. Jinyoung's on fire with all this touching.

 

Mark gets closer kissing it, producing a current of electricity running through Jinyoung's veins and arteries. Goosebumps are rising all over his body.

 

“Hyung…” he breathed.

 

“Yes, flower….” a smug look plays on Mark’ s face like he knows what he's doing to the younger.

 

“Idiot hyung…” Jinyoung smiles, still struggling.

 

“What?...” Mark arches an eyebrow,  “....I never been this close since our kiss, flower…” pause to kiss Jinyoung cheek, “... I miss all of you.” Mark finishes to take his hands on his. He’s Looking at Jinyoung as if this is the last minute to live.

 

“This week's been a hell to you, right?” Jinyoung finally asks, cutting through the intense gazes. Mark with a sigh of a breath nods.

 

“Then let's get you to bed.” Jinyoung pull Mark's up on his feet.

 

Jinyoung want to let the boy rest and have some decent amount of sleep. Mark really deserves it. He's been working hard and also handling him along. Taking care of him and making sure he's okay.

 

Jinyoung jolts when Mark hands stops him from taking any further steps to the bed room. “Is ther…” Jinyoung doesn't complete his words when he feels Mark's soft lips on his. He's surprised but his heart's dancing and his eyes are wide. The kiss is just a reminder of his presence. Short and so so so soft.

 

Mark pulls, smiling. One hand is playing with the back of Jinyoung's hair. “I really missed you, flower...” Jinyoung smiles affectionately. This hyung thou.

 

Mark continues between his little touches, “ so so much, Jinyoung.”

 

Mark's eyes are almost bleeding all the ture captivating feelings inside. Jinyoung thinks that Mark doesn't need to say these words because he really does knows them, feels them and believes them. Yes, Jinyoung knows because Mark is dripping all of these emotion whenever he's aroundㅡenveloping Jinyoung wholly. It's like there is an outer layer surrounding Jinyoung from head to toe, screaming Mark's love and affection to him.

 

Screaming Mark's _protection._

 

“I missed you too hyung.” Jinyoung finally replies, nuzzling his nose to Mark's cheek. He loves it. It helps him to feel calm. “I love you hyung.” He says.

 

“I really love you too, _petal_.”

 

Jinyoung smiles as the new nickname and Mark smiles too, taking Jinyoung's face on his hand. Breath hot all over his skin as the older leaves few of his blooming love on the younger face. Then he slowly retreats down to take Jinyoung's lips on his. Leaving him breathless with every touch.

 

 

That night - _with a new nickname_ \- Jinyoung fell asleep between the warmest arms. Shutting out all of the unknown coming ‘cause he is safe on these hands

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long Live The MARKJIN ♥


	8. ..

Mark was staring at the sleeping figure back on his bed. He couldn’t sleep and went to made himself coffee. Then he settled on the window bar, setting, enjoying the calm dark night outside and the beautiful light that accompanies him to bed every so night inside his bedroom.

Jinyoung.

Jinyoung’s been sleeping well this last period. Mark was trying to make sure the latter does. The boy had enough already.  
Shonwu was being in touched with Mark to tell him what the new he would find. Mark was thankful and also he decided to tell Jinyoung anything until they grasp some important information that could lead them to anything. The things were still trivial and he didn’t want to concern his boy.

Jinyoung shifts on his other side. Mark can see his face fully now, so he takes it as a chance to study Jinyoung’s beauty. The strands of the boy’s fringe fell on his forehead, hiding the boy’s eyebrows making him look so soft. Jinyoung adorably pouts on his sleep which results on a little laugh from Mark. He looks so peaceful and Mark’s heart skips a beat. He grows fond of the boy every passing day. 

Mark shifted to look at the sky from the window and thought that this moment could be perfect if the both of them met in a normal day. He would see Jinyoung and immediately find it interesting so he would approach him and start a talk. Or he would be a friend that was introduced to him by his friends and they would tag along and talk. But that wasn’t, was it?

From what Shonwu had told him till now, it shows that Jinyoung wasn’t living a typical life and the boy was get used of, by the ugliest way that could exist. Mark tries to calm himself drinking his coffee and looking at Jinyoung again. A smile crawls to his lips. He’s always like that when his eyes fall on Jinyoung. The love he holds for the boy scares him sometimes. He never felt the way he does now with anyone.

Jinyoung was special in so many ways no one will ever know. Mark is always mesmerized because Jinyoung can’t be expected. He shows his love for Mark in every possible way and that would take Mark back. It also makes Mark lose the normal time and fell in only Jinyoung’s time. It would be just the two of them.

Whenever they kiss, the world would stop. Every time the older would be the one to give or the one to receive a kiss, it would be the act of pouring it all in one. There was no linger-shyness between them anymore. They become bold in showing affection and Mark loved it. How Jinyoung becomes more and more open to talk, to touch, to show and to give.   
“You made me realize that I’m a strong and you are making me stronger. Showing my love to you is a step to build the Jinyoung I want to be.” Jinyoung once said after he kissed Mark. Mark held him like he never did it to anyone.   
The memory brought a prideful smile on Mark. He stood up to go back to the kitchen and wash now the empty cup on his hand. But first he goes to Jinyoung. He leans to give the boy kiss on the top of his head and one on his cheek and then he whispers I love you the boy’s ear.

 

\---

 

“Stop teasing me brat.” Mark’s just close his car’s door, moving to walk with Jinyoung.  
He shoved Jinyoung from his side. The boy was teasing him for forgetting the most favorite thing to his heart; coffee. 

“Just how could you forget this? I reminded you all day because you can’t live without it.” Jinyoung moved to link their arms together again and Mark smiles. “One massage when you were on work and another one when you finished your shooting practice session.”

Since Jinyoung mentioned it, Mark remembered today’s practice. It was good and he didn’t miss any target. He began practicing shooting when he was 22. One time he decided to just do it and he loved it. It gave him more control in his body and breathing. Also his mind was only concentrating in one thing and that’s how he developed the control he has in his life, along with so many other things.

 

“I just forgot it brat. Maybe I was thinking about you a lot.” Mark finally explains.

“Whatever,” Jinyoung tries to change the subject and hide the shy looks that Mark’s words resulted in. “Okay Mark-shi. Let’s get it quickly because I’m hungry and I waited for you.” Jinyoung pouted and Mark felt guilt eating him. 

“No, don’t give me the guilty look. I didn’t mean it this way.” Jinyoung stats feeling sad nut Mark smiled to tell him that it’s okay. “Well, at least I got to have more time with you like a normal couple. Walking and buying things.” Jinyoung leaned and kissed his cheek.

“Oh...” Mark intertwines their hands, looking at the boy beside him. “I need more of these kisses when we go home.”

Jinyoung just nods and laughs. “Are you deprived of kisses or what? I shower you with them every moment I see you.” Jinyoung walks backwards, facing Mark, still holding his hand.  
“The more, the better, flower.” Mark explains, amusing with the pink blush on Jinyoung’s cheeks.

“It’s not like you didn’t get more of them today.” Jinyoung stops to narrow his eyes, giving Mark –the I know everything- look. Then he resumes walking.

“First of all, walk properly idiot.” Mark laughs when Jinyoung sticks his tongue out. But he was afraid that the boy could stumble in anything behind since he was walking backwards. He decided that his hand would support the boy if he did.

“Secondly, how did you know?” Mark needn’t to know. He knows that Youngjae would definitely tell him. The boy became a dear friend to Jinyoung and he’s happy that the boy trusted his friends enough to allow them to be his too.

Jinyoung loud laugh rocks his body with warmth. A thing he becomes to use to. “Youngjae told me everything babe.” The boy waggles his brows, teasing.

Mark felt betrayal from his own friends. He brings back the memory of helping Youngjae today. Since the doctor was having a hard time, dealing with all the work of the pediatric department. Mark gave him a hand with all the children.   
Even if the work was hard, the smiles of the young boys and girls brought a smile to his face too. But the highlight of the day was the kiss he received whenever he examined a patient. That was what Jinyoung was talking about. 

In a dramatic tone Mark finally speaks, “I feel the betrayal.” Jinyoung rolls his eyes and shrugs. “Oh please shut up.” Jinyoung says but he moves right in front of Mark, startling the boy then Jinyoung kisses him just a peck and then pulls away. Mark laughs, head locking the boy he loves when they finally inter the market, earning; some whining noise from Jinyoung.

 

\---

 

“We just wanted coffee.” Mark sighs, putting the last two paper cases in his car when Jinyoung handed them to the boy. 

“I saw so many beautiful things. You don’t accept me not to buy them.” Jinyoung huffs cutely. Mark smiles. He finds this very domestic stuff; they both do, are very pleasant to him. He wants them to do more of these.

They took almost an hour at the place because Jinyoung suggested that they buy some extra stuff and some other groceries they needed. Mark couldn’t refuse when the boy pulled him along.

A loud scratch from a car caught them both by surprise, making them jolting. Mark was already beside Jinyoung. They both looked at the fast car that stops suddenly. Mark just wanted to scream at the driver for giving them almost heart attack but he backed down because he maybe had a reason. He’s in no place to judge.

But,   
Mark didn’t love the reason at all when he saw the driver coming in their direction, eyeing Jinyoung. It’s when Mark felt his heart dropped to the floor. There were another three men following the man. The looks in their eyes don’t bode well. They presage nothing good at all. Mark body unintentionally came to stand in front of Jinyoung, separating the boy from them. Jinyoung clutches on Mark’s clothes with all of the power he could put in his hands. He must protect the boy.

Mark noticed the guns in their hands, his heart sank. “Gentlemen,” He says when the four men stops right across him. 

“Mark.” Jinyoung calls. His tone shows how scared he is. Mark wants to hug him.

“It’s okay, flower. Don’t worry.” Mark put his hand on the boy’s before he looks at one man; the one that was driving. “What’s going on?” Mark asks, eyes observing every move of the men.

“We need him.” The man pointed his gun over Mark’s shoulder. Obviously at Jinyoung and Mark knows that this is not good.

“He’s not going anywhere.” Mark states, looking at the man in the eyes.

Mark wished he could call Shonwu right now but he just can’t. He can deal with one but four of them are too much. ‘What do they want from Jinyoung? Or whatever hell has this boy escaped to send people for him?’  
Mark eyes were like a hawk’s. He studies the place but there is nothing in this parking area except some cars. Jinyoung was shivering from fear behind him. He could feel the shaking hands of the boy on his clothes. 

One of the four men moved so he can circle them and try to grab Jinyoung. Mark watched the man extend his hand in Jinyoung’s direction and when Mark moved to him, another one hold him from behind. He cursed and screamed for Jinyoung to run but the boy couldn’t. The man was already on him, holding him pointing a gun on his head. 

Mark stopped moving screaming, “don’t shoot him.” Mark felt his blood run cold on the thought of this man doing something to Jinyoung.

“Ma-Mark.” Jinyoung’s voice was trembling from fear. “It’s okay, flower.” Mark quickly assured the boy.  
“Just, don’t hurt him.” He tells the man holding Jinyoung when he saw the look in the man eyes was full of anger because Jinyoung started resisting.

Mark’s mind was racing. He can’t think of any solution that would benefit them in this unfortunate situation. Also, he only can’t stop thinking of Jinyoung. The boy’s eyes only trained on Mark and he looks so pale. Mark can’t assure him and it kills him.  
Mark suddenly feels the man’s grip on him has loosened a little. He took no time to turn around so fast and grabbing the man’s gun and shooting him on his feet. The man falls to the ground screaming from the pain. He thanked the day he start taking shooting a hobby.  
Jinyoung screamed his name but when he turns to look at the boy, he was welcomed by a hit on his face. He felt like fainting but he steadied himself, shooting the man that hit him on his leg; knocking the man to the ground too. He feels something hot running from his nose. He knows that it is blood. The bunch on the face definitely but that’s not the right time so he ignores it. But then Mark felt something cold pressing on his temple. He jolted but didn’t move and his heart is racing from the previous rush of adrenalin. There’s someone pointing a gun to his head.

“Don’t take any other move or I will shoot you.” One man said, taking the gun from his hand aggressively. Jinyoung was screaming and crying and Mark just hated that Jinyoung is suffering fear.

“Jinyoung. Babe.” He looked at the boy who was already has his glassy eyes on him. He couldn’t complete what he was going to say before a man interrupts him. “You are so lucky that we have orders to not kill you or else you would have been dead.” Then the man punches him on the stomach. He felt like his bones are going to break. He exhales once to steady himself before glaring at the man. The man seems to not like it because Mark was being bunched one more time. This time he couldn’t handle it and fell to the ground from the pain. 

“Mark,” Jinyoung screams and Mark is fighting to look at the boy. He tries to mouth any words to insure Jinyoung but then a hard hit from the man’s feet hit his stomach again. This time was hell and the pain increased then he coughs some blood. That wasn’t good. But he’s not afraid that something would happen to him. He’s more afraid that they will take Jinyoung.

“Stop,” Jinyoung voice came in rush, “please.” The boy was crying. The bleed in his voice is more painful to Mark than those hits.

“Ji .. Jinyoung,” He looks at the boy. “It’s okay.” He tells the boy but the boy shakes his head.

“No, it’s not okay. I’m sorry.” Jinyoung fights to speak between the agony and pain, his voice carries.

“Shoot him.” The man holding Jinyoung told his teammate. Mark eyes widened so as Jinyoung’s.

“We have orders.” The man standing in front of Mark replies.

“Fuck orders.” The man shouts. “He started it.”

“No, you can’t.” Jinyoung turns crazy, screaming louder. He tries to move to Mark but the grip on his arms tightened, making him groan in pain.

“Stop you too.” The man shouts and shoves Jinyoung hard. Jinyoung suddenly stops. Mark called his name, afraid if he’s hurt but the boy seems to not hear him. 

It’s like the halo around the boy suddenly is there no more. Jinyoung looked at him but Mark breath hitched when he saw the change in Jinyoung’s eyes. Maybe it’s anger or whatever but there is a dark look. Mark tries to lift himself to go to the boy but the man’s leg was pressed in side, making him move no more.   
Jinyoung’s eyes were on the man leg on Mark. It was like he is going to tear it with his teeth. Mark heart flips, frightened of Jinyoung getting hurt if he does anything rashly. Not even in dreams Mark could imagine Jinyoung with gun but what come next proved him wrong.  
With one soft move, the man’s gun that was behind Jinyoung, was in the latter’s hand. Mark eyes widened on the speed and the sudden change of Jinyoung. The boy in front of him is the complete opposite of the lost boy he met in the middle of the night.

“I told you don’t.” Jinyoung’s voice raises all the hair on Mark’s arms. Soul-less. Without hesitation Jinyoung pulls the trigger. One sound of the gun and the owner of the weight once was on Mark’s body, is now lying lifeless on the ground right in front of his eyes. 

Mark watches in silence. He is in real pain but he can’t avert his eyes from the boy. Jinyoung lifts his hand and with one hit on the neck, he knocked the man that was holding him, down. It sends him motionless on the hard floor. Mark was in awe, wondering who really Jinyoung is!  
Jinyoung is still standing on his position. The same position he knocked two men with a cold hand, from. The boy throws the gun and with a dark pair of eyes, he looks at the other two men Mark shot them before. He was warning them silently.  
Jinyoung looks at Mark, staring. Mark wasn’t afraid and he keeps his eyes on the boys. He doesn’t know what to say. Jinyoung doesn’t move also and Mark knows what’s happening. It’s like the boy is afraid of reaching Mark. The hesitation is written on his face. Mark frowned, thinking why the boy is confused. Then it hits that Jinyoung thinks that he would send him away after what happened. Losing Jinyoung wasn’t an option in his life anymore, the boy should know that.

Mark swallowed the pain and extends his hand to Jinyoung. “Flower” He says.

One word from Mark and Jinyoung eyes waver. The tears start running down Jinyoung’s cheeks. The boy comes running, kneeling down to his knees in front of Mark. Holding his hand and crying so hard. “I thought I was going to lose you.” The boy says between sniffles and Mark heart shattered.

“I’m so sorry.” Jinyoung voice is broken and the boy feels so honest and vulnerable. Mark couldn’t handle it. He squeezes the boy’s hand. “Flower, I’m okay.”

“No, you are not.” Jinyoung cries. He supports Mark to lift him up and Mark whines in pain. He curses when he sees the worry in Jinyoung’s eyes increase, making the boy cries harder. Mark felt miserable for making the boy like that. The sight breaks his heart.

He breathes and sits up, ignoring the pain that was buzzing in the abused part of his body. He pulls the boy in a tight hug. He doesn’t know if the act was to assure Jinyoung that he’s okay or if it was for himself. To tell himself that Jinyoung is here safe and sound. “It’s okay, flower.” He whispers to Jinyoung’s ear, “I’m right here.” Mark sighs in relief when Jinyoung wraps his arms gently around him. The boy seems to sense his pain.

After a couple of minutes when Jinyoung crying subsides, Mark pushed a little looking at the boy, “you are okay?” Jinyoung nods. Mark smiles. 

Mark brings a hand to his side. He’s in pain. “I want to stay hugging you but I feel like- 

“What do you want me to do?” Jinyoung says, cutting Mark. Mark feels thankful as the boy sensed what he wants to.

“First call Shonwu hyung.” Mark speaks slowly. His ribs hurt and so do his abdominal bones.

He feels Jinyoung’s hands on his as a try to cease his pain. “Take your time. I’m here.” Jinyoung holds him tight and Mark thinks of how pure this boy is. Mark was the one who should assure Jinyoung, not the way opposite. And even if there are some unexplained points with Jinyoung and the way he was before- he will be with the boy, unraveling them one by one.

Mark nods. Taking a breath in, “call hyung, flower.” 

Watching Jinyoung heading to the car to grab his phone, he couldn’t help it but think of what’s coming and if he will manage to protect the one he love or not? The thought of Jinyoung killing the man just because he touched him was sending shiver to his body. Jinyoung did that for him. He killed for him.  
His eyes move to settle at Jinyoung again. The boy’s hand is shaking holding the mobile to his ear. He’s talking to Shonwu and maybe explaining the whole situation. Mark still staring and Jinyoung scared like that isn’t something, he wants to see anymore. Not again. He will make sure of that, by any mean. He was ready before and after today he’ll give it his all. 

Just to make sure his flower will not get touched by filthy hands again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For ya'll who I reply to the comments. I love you. Specially you Alexia ♥  
> And I love the readers whose I don't interact with too :)  
> Also thanks for waiting ...


	9. ..

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Truth Finally

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mention of mild mental abuse.

“You’re gonna call Namjoon?” Mark looks at Shonwu who is standing amidst of six frightening pairs of eyes. 

 

Mark tried so hard to ignore the fear that was directed to him, from the very first time he got to the hospital, but fail so hard. The boys; his friends, specially the two youngest looked so afraid. Mark doesn't seem to be surprised because the boys never seen someone beaten before; specially if this someone is their friend. Mark sighs at least his other three friends are somehow holding on a bit; they are doctors for god sake. 

 

Mark doesn't blame any of them. He knew that; this would happen from the beginning. It's not easy for them to see him like that. Also, it doesn't seem like that happen everyday. But then he looks at Jinyoungㅡthe boy didn't say a word since he last called Shonwu and his eyes look like they are lost. Mark can't reach for him and touch him to assure him. His ribs are broken and he's laying on a bed he once examines patients on. 

 

He exhales one more time looking at Shonwu again, “Is it that serious?” Mark finally carries on his conversation with the detective and ignores the tension. 

 

“Me and Namjoon has been working on a case for a long time now and I believe it’s related to this too. So yes, Namjoon is required.” Shonwu says seriously. 

 

Mark knows Namjoon so well. He's also a dear friend of his. Jackson was the one introducing him to their group of friends and also he is Jungkook's brother; the one Yugyeom loves. 

 

Namjoon is a high head in the aspect of the crime department in the police. Mark doesn't really know his rank but he knows that the boy is really important in his field of job. Their hangouts were always nothing related to work but they just having fun and playing around. Also the man was a solce to him sometimes just like Jaebum. He has a mind of gold and Mark appreciates the knowledgeable side of Namjoon; it never disappoints him. 

 

 

“If this matter get to Namjoon then I don't know how fucked up this thing is.” Mark rolls his eyes at the curse in Jackson words but he can't blame him. 

 

 

“Let's ease this tension a little,” Youngjae suggests and takes a seat finally making the boys sit as well. “Jaebum hyung take Jackson and get us some coffee from the end of the corridor. You know…” Mark knows where Youngjae was referring to. It's the coffee machine that settled in every floor. 

 

 

Mark watches as Jaebum drags Jackson with him. Jaebum knows that Youngjae needs him to calm the boy a little. Jackson is always the one with the low temper. 

 

Shonwu was already on his phone, probably with Namjoon by now. Jinyoung was standing alone and looking at him, concerned. Mark ushers him to come close. Jinyoung does it willingly. 

 

The transfer of Jinyoung's face as soon as Mark's hands take his and tugs him right beside him on the bed, is heartbreaking for Mark, because the boy looks like a lost cat who has just found its owner. Jinyoung should have known that Mark will never change the way he feels towards him and he's here even if he can't move with those ribs now but he's here. 

 

 

Mark’s thumb caress the back of Jinyoung hands and he needn't to talk. The touch alone comforts; he feels it when the younger relaxes beside him. 

 

Youngjae was patting Yugyeom’s hair while the latter rests his head on the doctor's shoulder. They always have soft spot for the youngest and according to the look on the boy's eyes, he needs a hand of support and Mark thankful to Youngjae for doing it. 

 

The two remaining doctors just came with the coffee treat for them all. Jackson hands the boys their drinks and sat behind Bambam; taking the boy between his legs. Jaebum needed to pull a chair and sit on Youngjae side smiling when he did. Even if he's not fine, his friends are and that's enough for him. 

 

 

“Hey Jacks are you okay now?” The question Mark has just murmured, earned a raise of an eyebrow from his friend. “I should ask you that. I'm all in one piece. Look at you.” Mark laughs and then he curses because it pained him. He exhales slowly, “I'm fine you sassy.” Bambam's laugh lighted up the mood a little making the other laugh along. 

 

“Hey guys, I'm really okay.” Mark tries to sound fine but the silent and looks from his friends says the opposite but he's content with their silence for now. They don't know what exactly happened and what Jinyoung did but he doesn't want to tell them, not yet. 

 

Mark couldn't grasp a thread of reality to voice it out to them or even himself. Everything sound unreal for a second and he maybe confused and his brain's eating him down but he doesn't show it, he can't. Jinyoung wouldn't feel safe with him if he starts to lose himself to the questions; unanswered. He doesn't want that, at all. 

 

“May you explain to us what is happening, hyung?” Jaebum's voice brings him to look back at the hyung of theirs. Shonwu looks unsure for second but he takes a seat and settle on it. “Well, it's shit.” He says making Jackson scoffs, Shonwu ignores him, “well apparently Jinyoung was a part of The red dam which is a shitty organization we try to put down but we can't have a clue how?” Mark doesn't like the look in his hyung's eyes. It like he's been struggling a lot because of this case. 

 

“I've never heard of this name before.” Jaebum who wears a mask of hidden feels Mark feels, says hoping for the best but Mark can't help the building feeling in his stomach; something is off. 

 

“Well, no one has, Jaebum. This organization is a war lover can't you see what's happening in the world?” Shonwu says taking a breath. He seems angry for a reason. Mark is too, does not like where this conversation is going and specially when he feels Jinyoung tenses beside him, grabbing his hand hardly. 

 

“Can you explain more hyung. I know that isn't good. I can feel it but I-we need to understand too.” Shonwu nodded when Mark looks at him, asking. 

 

“When wars happen between two countries or within two groups in the same country, the Red dam rises. How so you may wander?” Mark swallowed but the lamp in his throat stayed perfectly sit. Shonwu carries on ignoring the eyes on him which is absolutely irritating, “they provide you with weapons and they help you destroy.” 

 

“But that can be done through any illegal places where they sell them.” Youngjae says. “That's also right but what about I start one in order to help with my sales.” 

 

The answer from Shonwu was a hit of unsettling light which made all of the eyes to be widden. Mark's heart dropped, “what is that has to do with Jinyoung?” he could only ask, not liking the shaking of Jinyoung's hand in his. It makes him want to tear everything apart and Mark isn't even a violent person. 

 

Shonwu sits further in his chair, taking a deep breath, “we're getting to this part in a few. So, they help to put the gas on fire. It's not only they can do this small things but even the higher ranks in politics can have them start a bigger one and when I mean bigger I don't joke.” 

 

The atmosphere in the room took another level of tension. Everyone looks so pale and they seem like they had a hard time processing what's happening and what the hell they've heard. 

 

“Let's say that they are a one that has a power and upper hand even to some presidents. They can provide a new weapon and have it bought and ordered in a couple of hours. They even sell technology no one has ever use and that's what make them powerful. They have hands everywhere. When we started digging this case we had a lot of troubles and calls to close it and just stop but you know Namjoon he has his ways in arguing and no one can beat that.” 

 

Shonwu takes a sip of his coffee which it must be cold according the grimacing face he's just made, “so we still working on the case and we started like a couple of years ago. Five months ago we had someone helping us…” 

 

“Let me take turn from here” Everyone had his eyes on the figure on the door now. Namjoon in a black formal suit is smiling and his dimples are showing. If it was some other time Mark could tease him but he doesn't feel like it. 

 

“Hyung.” Yugyeom stood up and Namjoon walkes to him, giving him a hug; ruffling the younger's hair.

 

 

“You’re almost everyday in my house but I didn't see you in a while.” The words made Yugyeom goes red and Bambam laughs. 

 

“Hyung,” Yugyeom whines, “you're the one that comeback late and I'm sorry that your brother's arms are so warm that I feel easily asleep in them.” 

 

Wow. When was Yugyeom this bold. 

 

Namjoon laughs but his eyes full of love to the boy. Yugyeom goes back to his seat and Namjoon grabs another chair and sits, “what did Shonwu tell you guys to be that pale and silent?” Namjoon eyes them all until his eyes rests on Jinyoung he smiles, “you look much like him.” Jinyoung frowns confused.

 

Namjoon smiles again. He looks at Shonwu nodding, the former nods in return. “I will carry on the talk.” He coughs. 

 

“Well, the person that Shonwu was talking about is someone really close to me and I believe to Jinyoung here.” Namjoon looks at Jinyoung who is far from okay, Mark can feel it. 

 

“Jin which is my boyfriend for a year now and he's Jinyoung's brother; is the one that helping us.” 

 

A gasp from Jinyoung was tearing the silence. The boy's voice was shaking, “h-how?” is what he could ask. Mark is not okay when his flower isn't blooming like what he deserves. Jinyoung deserves to be treated like the most precious person. 

 

“I knew Jin and I didn't know he was connected to the case I've been working on till one day he approached me and told me about it all. How he was trying his best to be accepted to be part of them to rescue his little brother.” 

 

The man suppresses a sigh he was holding it, “well Shonwu told you about the red dam and how they take over so their branch here has the worst human trafficking anyone could think of; sexual slavery, forced labels and there is child soldiers and they even got the last one to the worst where they can control and sedate them to do it.” 

 

“Wow hyung that's really some fucked up shit.” Mark can't say otherwise to Jackson words. “Indeed it is.” Even Jaebum agrees.

 

“So let me continue.” Namjoon carries on his talk, “so Jin trusted me when he saw how I was working so hard in that case and also he was afraid. I wouldn't trust anybody if I was in his place. The boy was hiding every piece of negative emotion when I met him for the first time and when he finally opened up to me he gave me an important part of this case.” 

 

Jinyoung started crying when his brother's name was mentioned. He looks so broken and Mark couldn't help but take him into his arm; wrapping it around him, tugging him to his side and making Jinyoung's head rest on his shoulder. Yes, Mark was in pain but his pain increases whenever Jinyoung hurt and he just couldn't stand. He kisses Jinyoung's on the top of his head, running his hand to the boy's arm up and down, hoping to produce some kind of safety and reassurance to the boy. 

 

“I'm sorry Jinyoung,” Namjoon looks torn and he looks at Mark because he must felt the same way with Jin when the boy broke to him. “It-it's okay hyung.” Jinyoung said between sniffles. 

 

“Back again to this, Jin had someone in the orphanage he once and Jinyoung were. The man helped him where Jinyoung was taken and then he had his ways to be a part of the medical team there. He worked to win their trust and then he saved you.”

 

A sigh of breath broke from Shonwu. They all look devastated; faces ruined in very irritating looks which really pisses Mark off. 

 

“Once Jin found you he did his best to broke you out of this hell. The branch here has laboratories and human are their lab rats. They literally kill half of the children they kidnap or take in whatever illegal or even legal way. It's like the other time when Jinyoung remembered something about the lab and the injection,” 

 

Mark really hated to remember that day. Jinyoung was so fragile and weak and pale and Mark never felt like this small before, when he couldn't do anything. He shakes his head returning to focus on his hyung. 

 

“They test every boy or girl first then they do their work after. They train them to be emotionless and the sedate help in that too and they are just raise them to be killers. They send them to start conflicts and wars. They sell them to mobs and smugglers. They do them bad and very very dirty.” 

 

Jinyoung's breath hitched and the boy shivers to Mark's side. Mark tensed, “are you okay, petal?” He breathes his question and Jinyoung nods in his shoulder. He kisses his hair again. He doesn't believe. The process to digest all of this must be painful and weighing him down. 

 

“Jin hyung had you before the medicines totally wrecked you and played with your mentality. It was hard for him and hard for me to let him deal with danger there but I couldn't do anything. He made sure that you as an experiment to be his responsibility and started to cut you off from these injections and took care of you till that day came and he helped you to escape.” 

 

Namjoon grabs a cup of water and drank a little and no one could say a ward, all focused and not believing what is said or somehow convincing themselves that they are dreaming because Mark thinks that this world is somehow hides cruel reality under the name of power, politics and money. People can be monsters and shut off their conscience and he just doesn't know how they do it because it kills him whenever he can't help a patient of his or see someone struggling and he can't give him reassurance. It pains him how people got blind by something will be vanish soon or later, somehow. 

 

“I was planning how to get you once you escape the facility but Jin hyung couldn't wait for the date our plan was draw on and after that I couldn't find you anywhere not until Shonwu mentioned what Mark informed him.”

 

Shonwu rubs his eyes looking at his partner after, “I told them we are working together so yes I couldn't simply hide something that important from you Namjoon-ah.”

 

“So, Jinyoung hyung was one of these children?” Jinyoung abrupt when his name was mentioned. Bambam's voice was rough maybe from the long silence they were trapped on. 

 

“In fact Jinyoung here was one of their best mercenaries; not he could control it. Jinyoung here is nothing compared to Jinyoung months ago before Jin hyung cleaned him from all the shit which believe me were fucking literally with his mind.” 

 

Mark remembered Jinyoung with a gun threatening his attackers and the dark look wasn't pleasant especially when the boy had no control on. 

 

Mark eyes drift to Namjoon again and there is a very sad look in his eyes, “I'm sorry Jinyoung. I should have helped you way earlier than this. I'm really sorry.” The honest tone of Namjoon's wrecked Jinyoung again and now he's sobbing so hard and loud on Mark's shoulder, doesn’t care of all the presences in the room. Mark's eyes sting but he can't cry he must be a pillar to the boy even if it hurts like death or maybe way worse. 

 

“Let's give him some space to breathe guys. That has been a lot to take.” Youngjae with broken heart takes the maknae; who is about to cry, in his arms and stands up, all of his friends following after and they head to the door silently. 

 

Namjoon was the last to leave but he looks at Mark, “he's coming in about an hour,” and Mark doesn't have to be informed twice to know who is Namjoon referring to. Jinyoung's solace is coming and it's good because he needs Jin right in the darkest time to help him cross it like he did when they were young just like the old times when they were two normal kids. 

 

 

-

 

 

“Angel,” Mark calls Jinyoung when he feels his crying subside a little. It's been almost half an hour and the boy's face was red and glossy from all the crying and pain in his heart. 

 

 

Mark has been hugging him, calling him all the beautiful nicknames he deserved to be compared to. He has been trying to help; patting everywhere and kissing every spot and wiping the tears away from his face and telling him that he will be here and will never leave. Mark simply thinks that such a beautiful angel shouldn't be sad. 

 

Jinyoung finally hums; replaying Mark, pulling from Mark's neck to meet his eyes. “Are you okay now?” Mark asks a very silly question, he believes but he just asks want the answer to be the minimum of it. 

 

Jinyoung shakes his head, “I feel awful.” His voice cracks from the crying but Mark doesn't care but even thinks it's beautiful and cute. “I know angel, I know.” Mark kisses his eyes, “just tell me what do you want me to do and I'll be doing it.”

 

Mark's words broke Jinyoung again and he cries; tears falling and he sniffles hard, high-pitched and Mark literally holler internally and he wants to voice it out; scream with the top of his lungs. “Bah-baby,” he breathes the word out hard and Jinyoung looking at him, broken. “Just hold me hyung and don't let go.” the boy cries, “don't let go of me Mark.”

 

Mark tugs him hard and fast to his chest shushing him, “I will never flower.” He tightens the hug, “never Jinyoung. I'm here. I will always be here no matter who you were, no matter who you are and no matter who you'll be.” Mark wishes that his words help the boy in his arms but he just want to say it all again and will do whenever Jinyoung doesn't feel safe “I will be here because I love you. I love the Jinyoung you are. I love how you make me happy,”

 

“buh-but.. hy-hyung I was a killer.” The boys says between cries. Mark shakes his head, “No, no, petal. That wasn't you. That wasn't the real you. They manipulate you, they sedate you, for god sake they fucked up with your human nature babe. That wasn't you. That was them, the cruelty side of them ruling. Don't you ever say that.” Mark push Jinyoung back a little cubs his face with his two hands and the boys is shaking like a baby and it hurts, “you are the most delicate flower in this world. Do you hear me Jinyoung?” 

 

Mark looks at his face searching for answer; waiting for it. Jinyoung finally nods, “good. Even if it somehow was your choice, and I doubt that, it wasn't a choice you had the power to change. Right petal?” Jinyoung nods again, his tears start to decrease a little. 

 

Mark smiles wiping again the tears with his two thumbs on Jinyoung's cheeks. Kissing forehead. The boys hands clutches to his wrists and Mark smiles, “I'm here.” He says. “You will be here too.” Jinyoung completes him and Mark leans kissing both of the sides of his cheeks. 

 

“A little good now?” Mark asks and the boy nods again. “You are strong, flower, okay?”

 

“Okay, hyung.”

 

“Good” 

 

Jinyoung smiles; just like the sun kisses after a day.

 

“Are you finally ready to meet your old shelter?” Mark asks him and Jinyoung hesitantly nods wiping the remaining of his tears by the hem of his sleeves and it's adorable really making Mark wheezes with love but also he's proud of him even if Jinyoung tries his best to hide all of his fear and pain away. 

 

“Okay, hyung.” Jinyoung moves his hand to take Mark's in his. 

 

“Yes, okay my angel.” He holds it tight. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jinyoung is just a very very lucky person; with Mark here beside him. All of the talk the hyungs drowned him with was unpleasant to his mind, even to his soul. Being a killer isn't a thing who'd ever love even if it just happened so accidentally. 

 

Why life has to be so unfair! 

 

He once has his mom, his brother, his house and the garden across with the meadow of various flowers; the ones he loves or the name Mark's been calling him by. He should have met Mark like normal people do and he could be the florist he wanted to be not the killer he has been. 

 

All of this shit weigh much on his chest as it clench so hard between his bones but Mark is here and Mark here is like the last standing tree infront of the worst hurricane. He's the one that never has been shaken or trembled and he makes Jinyoung stronger, much more stronger. 

 

Everything that was fucking with his head is all seem to vanish whenever Mark is here; all of his words and touches make it so much easier even if it's for a while. But Mark never fail to make him heal constantly. Mark is that powerful and Jinyoung afraid of losing him. The memory of being beaten down or the gun pressed to him makes Jinyoung furiously angry because how dare them, how dare someone touch his Mark with filthy hands or filthy things like gun. He would never let that happen. He's strong, Mark makes him one and he wouldn't ever let him down. Never.

 

It will be some minutes until he meet his brother. The idea is killing him. He just wishes that nothing changes between the two even if everything technically fell apart and part their ways. But when he thinks over it again; his brother never leave him. He kept searching until he found him. Jinyoung’s head buzzes from all the thinking. He just sigh. 

 

A tug to a warm body is his distraction. Mark still holds him like he will fall apart in anytime but Jinyoung won't. Jinyoung is just vulnerable to Mark and no one else. He doesn't mind showing this side of him to his man because he is the one he trust because he just wants to. 

 

He inhales once before he tugs his chin to Mark's chest looking at him, “I'm really okay and I'm ready.” 

 

“Is that you asking me to let go of you Park Jinyoung?” Mark says with a smile to his lips, wrapping his arms tightly around Jinyoung's middle, “ because if it's I won't ever let go.” Mark kisses his forehead and Jinyoung shuts his eyes; overwhelmed by the affection. 

 

“You are unbelievable.” Jinyoung opens his eyes, smiling. “I love you, hyung.” Mark smiles widened at Jinyoung's words. “I really do and I want you to know that you make this boy here stronger everyday.” 

 

Mark seems taken back by his sudden words but the man just smiles and kisses him one more time on his forehead, “I love you too, petal.” he says in a delicate voice, “I also know that you are capable of doing many thing. You have a very big heart flower and I believe you were once strong and you still without me being in the process of figuring that out.”

 

Jinyoung shakes his head, “even though, it's just your existence here, your love, makes me who I'm right now.” 

 

Mark always has the perfect words to say to him and these words just bring him a reason to carry on, to love more, to live more, to try more and to be happier. God, he so desperately in love with a man he thinks no one can beat him to Jinyoung's heart ever and if it happened to be another man he would only look at Mark, love Mark, choose Mark. 

 

Mark finally speaks, “you make me too. You are a part of me now angel. You are the only flower I need in my garden.” he brushes some hair from Jinyoung's eyes and looks at him and Jinyoung loves and loves and loves. “Baby. My baby.”

 

Jinyoung wants to cry but he's tired. He cried enough and Mark wouldn't love to see his tears again but the man also does not give him any other option with the amount if love and trust he pushes in Jinyoung's way. How can a man capable of making a person feel loved like Mark does to him? A question will never be answered yet the ambiguity of it increases every time he feels loved because of the older. 

 

Jinyoung sits straight. He's been too much on Mark and Mark's in pain. He takes Mark's hands in his, caressing the pink knots with his thumbs, “you know I just love to show you all of me,” he looks up to Mark and the older is beautiful; looking at only him with a fond look in his eyes which makes Jinyoung shines so he involuntarily smiles and continues, “the me that happy, afraid, angry. The me that weeps and cries or screams from frustration. All of that and more. I do that because it became so easy with you because I want you to know me clearly. Like who I truly am. Along with the way I could figure out myself too. So thank you for accepting me as I am. Thank you for giving me the love and the space and the understanding to help me do that.” 

 

Jinyoung stops, moving his hands up and cupping Mark's face and the latter leans to his touch. Adorable. “So again, thank you for loving this lost kid and I know I told you this before but I will always thank you for giving me a chance and loving me without any conditions.” Jinyoung leans and kiss one of Mark cheeks, “you are my angel,” he kisses the other cheek, “my saviour.”

 

Mark inhales loudly. Jinyoung can see the rising of his chest and the soft looks his face directs to him and he smiles. He just does because he can read all the colorful love in Mark's eyes. 

 

“You are killing me Park Jinyoung.” Mark laughs traces Jinyoung face with his fingers, “can't help it with you.” Jinyoung heart smiles because he can feel the tugs right there between his ribs, “I can't help not loving you.” He kisses Jinyoung once; just a brush of lips but it doesn't help but make Jinyoung melts and then twice, “I love more and more every day,” a third time kiss, “no I love you more and more every hour, every minute, every second.”

 

Jinyoung breath hitched with every brush but then the fourth came and it wasn't like them. He couldn't help but lean forward to feel it more, feel Mark. The kiss from the man that brings life to him. The lips that can set you on fire with you happily obedient to it. The sync of two different worlds but one night molded them to be one. Mark feels like how should love be and his kiss feels like the epitome of its tenderness. His kiss is the one of Mark's perfect cures. Jinyoung has been enthralled by him and he doesn't mind at all. 

 

A cough made them pull from their own dizziness. Jinyoung's flushed and when he looks at Mark he's too. 

 

“I'm sorry but he's here.” Namjoon informs them a little bit embarrassed. But Jinyoung doesn't think of anything but the coming now. 

 

“one minute hyung.”Mark says. Namjoon nods and closes the door behind. 

 

Jinyoung doesn't know he was shaken a little till Mark hold his arms. “Flower, look at me.” He follow Mark's instructions and looks at him, “you can do it, right?” 

 

He thinks he can't for a second but he's been waiting for this. He said he's strong and it's not like it is going to kill him bit the fear of disappointing his brother is disgustingly ghost him. But he won't know if he didn't pull up his shit and face it.

 

Jinyoung finally takes a breath, “I'm ready. Don't worry hyung it's just - I'm just afraid he won't accept me. That I disappointed him somehow.”

 

“Jinyoung,” Mark says sternly, “are you listening to yourself now?” confused he was and Mark serious tone didn't make it easier. “He literally has been searching all of his life for you. He saved you and told you he would find you. Will he do that if he wouldn't want you anymore?” 

 

Mark waited so Jinyoung thinks it over and for him it doesn't make any sense. His fears doesn't make any; all is nonsense so he shakes his head Mark smiles, “so don't be afraid. Your brother seems to be a very good man who treasure you.”

 

“I'm sorry.” Jinyoung sadly says. 

 

“Don't. You have all the rights to be but just don't baby.”

 

“Okay hyung.” Jinyoung steady his heart. “I'm ready.” 

 

“okay flower. Now go wash your face.”

 

Jinyoung heads to do so even when his heart is a little jumpy. He can't help it but he knows he will be all emotionally settled in a few because his brother will be here. He who was once his light, his solace, his shelter. Jinyoung just wants him to still be like he had always been…….

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Birdies forgive the lazy me and stream Miracle ♥


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